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This has been making the rounds the past couple months, but it just reached our in-box today.

Hyundai Assurance Commercial [Funny or Die]

The smiling Dad in this picture is the Honorable Jay S. Bybee.  He is a judge on the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals. He’s a practicing Mormon.  He has taught constitutional and administrative law. He worked at the Department of Justice until he was nominated for the Ninth Circuit. A Bush appointee, he was confirmed in March of 2003.

During Bybee’s confirmation process, Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nevada), Sen. John Ensign (R-Nevada), Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah), Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho), and Sen. Charles Schumer (D-New York) spoke publicly on his behalf. At the William S. Boyd School of Law at the University of Nevada at Las Vegas where Bybee was a founding member of the faculty, Dean Richard Morgan called him a “nice, humble, and decent human being, who was also a highly intelligent and accomplished lawyer and teacher.”

There’s only one problem.  Judge Bybee is also a monster.

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Now with anal pears!

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OSHA for torturers, as provided by the U.S. Department of Justice’s Office of Legal Counsel in a May 20, 2005, memo released to the ACLU on Thursday.

1. Dietary manipulation.

This technique involves the substitution of commercial liquid meal replacements for normal food, presenting detainees with a bland, unappetizing, but nutritionally complete diet. … In general, minimum daily fluid and nutritional requirements are estimated using the following formula:

• Fluid requirement: 35 ml/kg/day. This may be increased depending on ambient temperature, body temperature, and level of activity…
• Calorie requirement: The CIA generally follows as a guideline a calorie requirement of 900 kcal/day + 10 kcal/kg/day. This quantity is multiplied by 1.2 for a sedentary activity level or 1.4 for a moderate activity level. … Calories are provided using commercial liquid diets (such as Ensure Plus), which also supply other essential nutrients and make for nutritionally complete meals.

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“Her political ambition combined with her intelligence is much like putting a jet engine on a golf cart. You don’t know where it is gonna end up.  There’s a lot of horsepower but not a lot of steering capability.”

I think you know the one.  Just in case, there is a hint after the jump:

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Molly Ivins would be having a field day with Rick Perry and Tom Delay talking about secession.

“… I had to share this shot from a lonely liberal who showed up too early yesterday (like me) at Seattle’s Tea Bag party site …”

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