My Money, You Sick Gangster, My Money and They'll Be No Trouble

Banking has indeed changed since Reagan declared America’s financial system was open for looting. In fact, what used to be a relatively consumer friendly system has been transformed, most dramatically at the money center banks, into a rapacious house of horrors in which usary laws have been essentially repealed and retail customers regarded as suckers ready to be stomped unconscious and ass-raped into quivering comas.

Your balance dipped below $100,000? Oh, hey, sorry, asshole, but the poor are deeply fucking offensive and maintaining a piece of shit account like that is going to cost you.  Didn’t keep track of the fact that we changed the due date and grace period on your credit card 16 times in 11 months and you paid late?  Shame you can’t pay fucking attention, asshole, because you’ve exposed yourself as a bad risk and are subject to 550% interest. Oh, you’re going to cancel the card? Try it, fuckface, just try it and we’ll file a credit report that will have the sorry fucks holding your note calling it in and putting you on the street so fast your spine will stop flying a half hour after you come to rest.

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Twisted Jesus Freak Juan Alberto Ovalle Bagged On His Way to Meet Agent Posing as Nearly Pre-pubescent Girl, as Sick as He Is Jesufied, As If There Is a Fuckng Difference. Die, Alberto! Die!

Focus on the Family’s own Voice of Jesus, Juan Alberto Ovalle, was bagged by the Jefferson County, CO. District Attorney’s Office on his way to meet a near-pre-teen girl on Monday, a blithe, alluring and dewy vessel of pre-womanhood – who turned out to be a cop who had to listen to him describe how she was going to sit on his face –  and arrested for unspeakable monstrosities.

Ovalle, narrator of the snakehandler cult’s bible CDs for Spanish language Jesus freaks, has been arrested on suspicion of using the Internet to arrange sex with a teenage girl and attempted sexual assault on a child.  The assholes from Focus on the Family pretended to be surprised, as if this isn’t part of the whole fucking snakehandler ethos. “We’re shocked,” Focus on the Family prevaricator in residence, Gary Schneeberger, told the Denver Post, no doubt to peels of laughter.

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From the folks at Sadly, No!

Turks, Saudis Foil Obama Assasination Attempt [CBS News]

James Adkisson:

“This was a symbolic killing. Who I wanted to kill was every Democrat in the Senate & House, the 100 people in Bernard Goldberg’s book. I’d like to kill everyone in the mainstream media. But I know those people were inaccessible to me. I couldn’t get to the generals & high ranking officers of the Marxist movement so I went after the foot soldiers, the chickenshit liberals that vote in these traitorous people. Someone had to get the ball rolling. I volunteered. I hope others do the same. It’s the only way we can rid America of this cancerous pestilence.”

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This morning Today show host Matt Lauer interviewed Eliot Spitzer, asking the former New York governor and onetime State Attorney General pointed questions about Wall Street misconduct, outrageous executive compensation packages, government bailouts and  how awesome is it to bust up prostitution rings in the morning and then have three hookers and a 55 gallon drum of chocolate pudding sent up to your hotel room that same evening.

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Following blogenfreude’s post yesterday about the Pittsburgh cop killer, redmanlaw alerted us to some curious comments at Raw Story’s report:

This is clearly looking like a Hit job MIAC style to make us all look bad.

this is nothing more than a hit piece and makes RS no better than MIAC report.

For all you fake ass liberals, go to youtube.com search a REAL liberal, Dennis Kucinich, finally actually sounding like those targeted in the MIAC leak.

We’re not sure Kucinich sounds like a cat on the verge of puking, but apparently MIAC has another meaning altogether — it’s the Missouri Information Analysis Center, one of 58 federally supported fusion centers that collate and distribute “threat related intelligence”. Fusing the fusion centers is the Department of Homeland Security, so we understand if some folks are a tad creeped out by the enterprise.

For that matter, connoisseurs of historical irony will appreciate the fact that instead of J. Edgar getting his panties in a bunch over Lefties, this round involves MIAC sounding the alarm against the very radical right: the militia movement.

And if you stick around, there’s even a Nixon reference.

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