Naughty Nymphs Team: “During the month of February you can join our team, become a ROMANCE CONSULTANT, start your own business, and earn 50% sales commissions for only $99!  This is a great opportunity!”

Party Gals: “All you need to do is invite your fabulous friends, and ask them to bring some of their fabulous friends! Add some sexy refreshments, and we’ll bring the fun!”

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The last two Bush-family engineered economic implosions were mere hemorrhoids on the ass progress compared to the full-bore apocalyptic catatrophe that is bringing civilization to a grim, smoldering end. The chart above tells the part of the tale you’ll feel first: the complete and sudden absence of income. Unemployment rates will cap 75% in a year as companies take advantage of the unfolding horror, lay off most everyone and triple surviving employees’ workloads, safe in the knowledge they’ll be no complaints.

At the end of the 1980s, nearly a decade of Wall Street lunacy, random financial services deregulation (with the worst yet to come during L’il Abner and Daisy Mae’s Administration) and complete abandonment of underwriting quality in the mortgage industry culminated in the collapse of many key real estate markets and a broad economic recession.

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Head Hose Bag: Whoremonger Kristen Davis Ran the Whorehouse That Sold The Mostest Poontangie to the Greediest Wall Street Fuckwits. From Sucking High-Priced Tits, to Being High-Priced (Public-) Tit Suckers, Oh, How the Hubristic Oligarcs Have Fallen.

Not only were Wall Street masters of the universe too incompetent, spineless and corrupt to run their portfolios straight, they were also way too busy pestorking the bejesus out of four- and five-figure hookers and walking around in euphoric post-coital fogs to figure out their businesses were monstrous fucking doomsday machines spinning out of control and winding up to destroy Western civilization. Then again, how could anyone with an endless supply of retirement fund money from witless investors to spend on busloads of fuck-ready supermodels actually care about anything?

Ha. Haha. Hahaha. Yeah, yeah, bring in two bus loads of them! Everyone knows the fucking buses are so much smaller these days. Yeah, hey, the leftover caviar at the bond department – hey, just pour it right on the desks and we’ll fuck ’em right there, swimming in the fucking stinking fucking fish fucking ooze. Oh, yeah. And get the guys from equities research to bring down some of that great blow and we’ll snort it off of their asses before we fuck ’em!

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Kelloggs won’t renew its deal with Michael Phelps because he took a bong hit?  Are you fucking kidding me?  Does Kelloggs have any fucking idea how many millions of boxes of Sugar Pops and Sugar Smacks (the real names for that shit) stoned people have eaten late at night?  Do they?

Stupid useless fucks.  Fuck them.  I’ll never eat Special K again.

And Tony the Tiger?  He’s nothing to me.

Back in the Dark Ages, before the Internet, before even cable, your vegging options were limited to the handful of television and radio stations in your area. This created a problem, since while your local monopoly newspaper had four or five sections to devote to ignoring you, your local broadcaster had scant minutes to ensure your voice was silenced.

And lo, the Federal Communications Commission decreed that if a crank said something disturbing on the air, equal time must be provided to an opposing crank to say something equally disturbing.

It was called the Fairness Doctrine, and whatever purpose it once served, it was a quaint relic by the time it was dropped in 1987. It’s long since been forgotten, like the idea of serious local news.

Well, almost.

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via D-Listed:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-DzY0TXL1g

David Ogden (that’s him in the picture, on the right), who President Obama has nominated to serve as deputy attorney general, is under fire from Republicans because, in the words of a former Bush Justice official:

Ogden has been an activist in support of a right to pornography, a right of abortion and the rights of homosexuals.

This is an extremely radical position of course, since the first two of those three things are rights we definitely already have. And even most of the Neanderthals who are against gay marriage use cryptic language about the sanctity of marriage instead of declaring themselves against “the rights of homosexuals.”  Read more »