News You Can Self-Abuse

Is that an Excel sheet in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?

[via Silent Creative Partner]

Did you know that May is International Masturbation Month?

Well, what are you waiting for?

Get going, go on there and celebrate it!

[Good Vibrations via SFist]

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah!

[WJHL, via Political Wire]

[CNET]

[NY Post]

Newsweek’s Cover Is…A Bit Much [Buzzfeed]

[Politico]