Lie Back and Think of England

London in Flames! Crispy Kreme Looted in Chingford!

As London prepares to celebrate the 70th anniversary of the Blitz, parts of London are engulfed in flames as rioters engage the police after a father being shot to death by a policeman provided an excuse for looting (pronounced Loo-ting for those unfamiliar with the English Tongue).

Here is a linque to a West London newspaper featuring pictures and a blow-by-blow account.

BTW. When reading of riots please try not to snigger at place names. Yes, there really is a placed called Chingford Mount (Ching-ford Mount). Same goes for Dorking (Dork-ing) and Wapping (Wop-ing. And no, that does not mean Italians live there). Tottenham is pronounced Tott-num. Enfield is pronounced En-field.

When asked to comment, Margaret Drabble (Drab-ull) admitted that she had heard of Brixton (Brix-ton) but had never actually been there. “So long as Hampstead’s (Hamp-sted) safe we’ll manage somehow,” the celebrated lady novelist opined. “Has anyone seen Piers Morgan (Ass-hole)?”

How to Accept Responsibility #2: I Know Nothing

Part two of Harbottle and Lewis’s instructional video series to teach even the most regenerate Aussie yahoo how to address a parliamentary commission.

In case you dear sweet people are not aware, H&L did not only represent I, Benedick, before the bar at the Old Bailey (I was in a navy suit, club tie, very clean-cut, athletic, upstanding youth) against Her Majesty’s government but the firm also represents HRH herself.

Queen v Queen? [Independent UK]

Margaret Drabble Shocker!

Rebekah Brooks gives herself up to the police and Margaret Drabble admits to having middle-class friends!

The prime minister is hopelessly comprised (even worse than before) and so is Scotland Yard!

News of the Brave New World

So, are we having fun yet?

The Guardian:

Journalists from across News International repeatedly targeted the former prime minister Gordon Brown, attempting to access his voicemail and obtaining information from his bank account, his legal file as well as his family’s medical records.

Daily Mirror:

Desperate Rupert Murdoch yesterday flew to London to try to save his crumbling empire.

He arrived in a cowboy-style hat to be hit by claims News of the World reporters hacked the phones of 9/11 victims.

Read more »

The End of the World.

Hugh Grant tackles a weasel on the Beeb and shows why grammar school boys (weasel) can never win when confronted with public school boys who were once jolly good at cricket (Grant).

The scandal is now off and running. Grant makes some very serious allegations. That noise you hear is the sound of pols distancing themselves from Murdoch.

The question remains: what will HRH now read over cornflakes of a Sunday?

Hugh Grant: How I exposed hacking [BBC]

Hugh Grant revisits his role in News of the World’s demise [LAT]

Sin is In.

For as long as I can remember there’s been a News of the World. Not that I ever read it, or knew anyone else who did, it was just always there, mouldering in a corner, stinking of stale beer and cigarette smoke. When one bought cod and chips on the way home from the films on a Saturday night, as one doused them in vinegar and salt, the newsprint that came off on one’s hand was more often than not from News of the World. It fostered a working-class dream of upper-class scandals, exposing naughty debs and Lords cavorting with telly stars. It thrived on tits and bums, poofter vicars exposing themselves, MPs with a bit on the side, and sex-starved housewives luring innocent boys into their webs of shame. It came out every Sunday and, last I heard, cost two and six or, if you prefer, a half-crown.

Read more »

Open Thread Of Anachronisms

Anyway.  If you’re up watching this crap from Merrie Old, feel free to vent here.

I will say this: the quality of media coverage of this was not unexpected, yet is still shocking.  The buy-in is total.  Only with an event like this can you have somebody bringing trees inside a church for a wedding, and have talking heads come across and say that they were going for “sustainable” rather than “absurdly decadent.”

And yet the media are shoveling this into their mouths as if it were oatmeal on a cold, winter morn.  And so are the great unwashed masses, lining the Mall with fake plastic crap on their heads, and lining up at the buffets at street parties with fake plastic crap on their heads (perhaps with feathers sticking out or something).

Really. When the President rolls by (whoever it is, however you feel about the guy), we either wave and shout a little bit, or flip him off and shout a little louder.  When they see the Queen rolling (or, in this case, kids who won’t be King and Queen for at least 40 years), everybody acts like they’re back in the first grade.

No (more) official commentary from me.  Your observations, as events (finally) unfold, in the comments box, please.