Thank god that his former church released Ted Haggard and his wife from their separation agreement, because it just wouldn’t be the holidays if we couldn’t continue to give thanks for Mr. Gay Face Is Fundamental. And what better way to celebrate the season than by contemplating “The Trials of Ted Haggard”, the new documentary by our own SFL’s daughter Alexandra. I for one look forward to watching Pastor Pillow Biter describe how the Baby Jeebus floated down on a pillow cloud to take away his lust for throbbing man meat and reaffirm his love for awkwardly poking around in his wife’s musty old box. We should all be thankful for this, as there is no better way to lose all of those extra holiday pounds than by violent retching.
Haggard Pitching HBO Film [NY Post]
Oh, and it’s Saturday – what the hell:
Christ on a cracker people, being in Chicago at this particular point in history is awesome. Not only are we anxiously awaiting the beautiful majestic ascent of Black Eagle, we are getting to enjoy the deliciously naughty fall of Slimy Rat Weasel (must credit homofascist). Fitzmas came early, and we thank the FSM for these gifts.
But lest you think Rod’s fuck-ups (you can’t call them indescretions because that would imply that he has some sort of discretion to begin with, and based on how fucking stupid he has shown himself to be he doesn’t deserve that much credit) are some isolated incident, let me give you a quick history of the previous 50 years of Illinois governors before hairpiece took over in 2003.
Well she knows what I’m about,
She can take what I dish out, and that’s not easy,
Well she knows me through and through,
She knows just what to do, and how to please me.
She’s a lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She’s a lady.
Talkin’ about that little lady and the lady is mine.
Okay kids. The Mormon Church sucks balls (and not in the good way) for giving all of their time and money to pass Prop H8 in California. As covered earlier, they just don’t understand why we would be so pissed. But pissed we are, and we don’t have to fucking explain it to them and now we are going to try to make them (literally) pay.
Although if you would like to watch a fun video that explains our side pretty well, I will direct you here to watch Dan Savage eviscerate Tony Perkins.
So if you would like to file a Tax-Exempt Organization Complaint with the IRS in the effort to revoke their tax-exempt status, just go to this website, print out the Pre-Filled IRS Form 13909 and the Official LDS Prop. 8 Letter as supporting documentation, fill in your information, and send it off to the taxman.
For your service to the Homofascist Army, there will be 37 hot, horny and hung virgins awaiting you in gay heaven. Er…for those of you who are into that kind of thing.
I don’t know who this Peter Schiff is. He could be the biggest fucking douchenozzle on the planet, and based on the fact that he is a contributor on the Fox Business Network, that is a strong possibility. Even so I haven’t seen a video clip I have enjoyed more in a while, and I am including this, this, and this. Watch this guy school these rightwing losers (Ben Stein, call on line 1!) who are recommending people buy Bear Sterns and Merrill Lynch because they are so cheap. And one of them even recommends WaMu! How did that work out for you assholes?
Homage to Peter Schiff: Calling the crisis right from the start [Infectious Greed]
The fabulous Rachel Maddow is the guest on Colbert tonight! Let us enjoy…