There’s a Seeker Born Every Minute

Honey, they’re in everybody’s eggs.Title: “The Anunnaki of Nibiru: Mankind’s Forgotten Creators, Enslavers, Saviors, and Hidden Architects of the New World Order”

Author: Gerald R. Clark

Rank: 25

Blurb: “The Anunnaki astronauts hailed from a planet, Nibiru, in our own solar system, whose apogee resides in a 3,600 retrograde elliptical orbit beyond Pluto. According to their records, likely using spectroscopy as scientists do today, they located gold on planet Earth. Due to a failing atmosphere on Nibiru, Anu their king, dispatched his preeminent scientist and first-born son, Enki, on a space mission to Earth to recover enough gold that could be ionized in a layer of their atmosphere, as a solar radiation shield.”

Review: “The idea of the Annunaki mining gold is silly. There are gigatons of minerals in the asteroid belt, lying nearly on the surface of tiny asteroids, which wouldn’t require coming into our gravity well. A spacefaring race would mine the asteroids.”

Customers Also Bought: “Alien Viruses: Crashed UFOs, MJ-12, & Biowarfare”

Footnote: Still, more rational than Republicans.

The Anunnaki of Nibiru [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

56 comments:

6:35 pm • Sunday • August 25, 2013

If this guy is smart then he’d form his own religion.

10:09 pm • Sunday • August 25, 2013

What the hell is this shit?

10:10 pm • Sunday • August 25, 2013

Fornicating manbats, bipedal beavers who have discovered fire, and unicorn goats.

5:12 pm • Monday • August 26, 2013

@JNOV:
Sounds like you were describing the VMAs (in particular one Miley Cyrus.)

7:15 pm • Monday • August 26, 2013

@ManchuCandidate: It’s cool as long as there were no inadvertently exposed female nipples. Our traumatized puritanical nation still has recovered from the last time.

12:38 am • Tuesday • August 27, 2013

FiresignTheater abuse!!1!

12:52 am • Tuesday • August 27, 2013

@RevZafod: No, that would be my college friend who recited entire sides at the slightest provocation.

1:00 am • Tuesday • August 27, 2013

@ManchuCandidate: Twerk it with the Thicke. Even kids know this is bullshit.

One of the best hoaxes I’ve heard of. And Thicke’s dick.

9:44 am • Tuesday • August 27, 2013

I’ve been sick for a couple days. Miss anything?

7:40 pm • Tuesday • August 27, 2013

@Dodgerblue: Smooth sailing. No sign of icebergs.

7:48 pm • Tuesday • August 27, 2013

@JNOV: I don’t see why moon men is any sillier than Superman: Man of Steel. Or Iron Man. Or Batman. Or Spiderman… Wait.

They’re all ‘MAN’. Anyone else see that? Is that just me?

I can’t go next door: the hub is watching Freeball… wait Ironball… wait Hardball… right. Clue factor: combining ‘hard’ and ‘ball’ in a sentence does not mean you’ve got got either balls or hardness.

I miss baked.

7:53 pm • Tuesday • August 27, 2013

@Dodgerblue: Besides my three coaster rides with Karen?

1:14 am • Wednesday • August 28, 2013

@Benedick: I miss her, too. Check your email.

At least it wasn’t ManBats! The Musical!

The reason I love this hoax is that it’s not satirical — it’s a hoax in a newspaper, and people were like, “Oh!” It’s better than War of the Worlds.

@nojo: Envy.

1:40 am • Wednesday • August 28, 2013

@nojo: Photos pls.

1:42 am • Wednesday • August 28, 2013

@Dodgerblue: Cameras spoil the moment. Like the moment we spun around like freaks in the hamster wheel.

2:37 am • Wednesday • August 28, 2013

@nojo: We have no roller coasters here. Cut it out.

1:39 pm • Wednesday • August 28, 2013

@nojo: I’m still dizzy.

1:45 pm • Wednesday • August 28, 2013

@JNOV: The Puyallup Fair starts September 6th! They have a wonderful old wooden roller coaster, plus they’ve got a new modern one this year.

2:57 pm • Wednesday • August 28, 2013

@JNOV: So you don’t want to hear about the Tilt-a-Whirl?

5:39 pm • Wednesday • August 28, 2013

@nojo: The switchback will make you crazy, beware of the bearded lady

7:56 pm • Wednesday • August 28, 2013

@flypaper: Let me take my chances on the Wall of Death.

10:02 pm • Wednesday • August 28, 2013

@Walking Still: Oh hey you! Are you missing Fogust in Ess Eff, or enjoying being someplace where it’s oh, I don’t know, WARM in the summer months?

/cranky about the fog, praise the FSM that Indian Summer is right around the corner

8:58 am • Thursday • August 29, 2013

I’ve traded the cool fog for the pestilential swamp that is our nation’s capital. Current estimates have me out here for another 3-4 years.

I do get occasional reprieves. The next will be in October for Hardly Strictly Bluegrass.

8:08 pm • Thursday • August 29, 2013

I wonder what that book says about Britain saying no to joining a war with US America against Syria. It’s gotta be up there on the book’s Omen list with Twerking and that horrible pimp mom’s talk show getting shit canned.

11:30 pm • Thursday • August 29, 2013

@karen marie might be peeking just a little: I wish I could go, but I might end up moving there in Oct., so that would be cool.

@nojo: Only if you barfed on a stranger.

Did you go to Magic Mountain? Gah!

Now if Creative Silent Partner (Silent Creative Partner Fuck Kenny Loggins whatever) took part in any of the festivities, I am undone.

@Walking Still: Is that the centrifuge with the false floor?

12:11 am • Friday • August 30, 2013

@JNOV: Did you go to Magic Mountain?

No, just alcohol.

12:57 am • Friday • August 30, 2013

@nojo: Even. Worse.

1:43 am • Friday • August 30, 2013

Oh, Helloo! Yes, I’ve been gone for a bit. Missed you all, Ben doing some soul-searching. Ended up back in school of all things. Imagine that.

Will we invade Syria, do you think? Bet we do, give it at year or so. War machine needs propping up.

8:26 am • Friday • August 30, 2013

@JNOV: Wikipedia says it’s a vertical wall that motorcycles traverse, held up by centrifugal force – sort of like the way Homer and Bart rode a cycle up the barrier encasing Springfield in the Simpsons Movie – the best movie ever about my former employer (EPA).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wall_of_death_(carnival_sideshow)

11:07 am • Friday • August 30, 2013
12:20 pm • Friday • August 30, 2013

@SanFranLefty: hahaha, no. I am wary of the profession, since I know so many good, bright people who have been burned by it. I might have been a good one though, had I started younger.

No, I am going into the health field, where they project an abundance of jobs for years to come. I’m thinking hospice or psych nursing, because I am a resilient sort with a good handle on picking oneself up and moving on, even as the odds seem insurmountable. These past few years have taught me that.

12:32 pm • Friday • August 30, 2013

@JNOV: “Manbats! All alone in the craters! Has the moon lost her memory? They are romping alooooonee….”

Or something like that. Maybe:

“Man-Bats! Looks three! And they’re still on unemployment! Romping for their own enjoyment! That ain’t it kid! That ain’t it kid!”

Or simply:

“Some enchanted evening,
You may see a man-bat!
You may see him romping….
Across a crowded dune…”

By the way Benedick, I get a producer credit if you pick any of these up .

5:42 pm • Friday • August 30, 2013

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing:
I really do sympathize as I’ve been there too. The last couple of years have been rough for me. The one thing I hate about soul searching for me is that I have had to question everything I’ve done to the point where I lost confidence in myself or whatever abilities I had or believed I had.

However, out of that fire comes some rebirth. Despite the shitty pay, I’m actually enjoying my job (which I haven’t been able to say for quite some time.)

The people that scare me the most are those that never do this and never question themselves.

8:51 pm • Friday • August 30, 2013

A@ManchuCandidate: Our stories will emerge, my friend, I promise. One day.

Look, they promised me that if I gave up my soul and worked at it I would get the reward. So I did. And it worked for a while. But what I’m realizing is that the big con isn’t about being true to yourself, or finding your true purpose, or any of that admirable bullshit. It’s about surviving, and not loathing what you see in the mirror afterward.

I have, and I do.

I love you all more than you know.

10:57 pm • Friday • August 30, 2013

@Tommmcatt: Good for you, Tommy. And with >50% of the US population in desperate need of psychiatric help, you’ll be in a rocketing growth industry for sure. Just imagine the mental mushroom cloud when we elect our first latina lesbian president. Muchos abrazos, mi amigo. Te extraño : )

P.S. Please add business school to the list of Things You Should Never Blow A Hundred Grand On. (Some might say that it depends upon the quality and reputation of the program. No. No, it doesn’t.)

11:22 pm • Friday • August 30, 2013

@¡Andrew!: gimme a hunnert and it’s hookers and blow until the heart explodes.

11:58 pm • Friday • August 30, 2013

@¡Andrew!: Stay with it. Just remember, if they can stab you in the back, they will. For fun.

@flypaper: I miss drugs and cheap sex. Seriously. I hate the fact that naps sound better nowadays.

10:12 am • Saturday • August 31, 2013

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: I was going to be glib and wonder if you’re going to go back to pole-dancing school to complete your masters, saw your later posts, became ashamed and went out to walk in the woods to the top of the fell where the wind comes in off the Irish Sea and a man can raise his eyes to heaven and see something that approaches greatness in the squalls off the… wait, what?

I’m typing one-handed so bear with me – as the bishop said to… There’s a pug in my lap. She’s snoring.

I would so be interested in hospice training, having gone through my mother’s death working with those people. I thought they were sensational.

I’m putting the finishing touches to my epic love story. There is a production being planned. Now we need money. And lots of it. There are likely be more presentations in Oct.

3:16 pm • Saturday • August 31, 2013

Catt, good call on no law school.

4:39 pm • Saturday • August 31, 2013

@Benedick: Darling, I have my MFA. It’s hanging under a picture of Jordan Young being savaged by two young white guys whose names I can’t recall.

The photo of Jordan Young (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_RHJzTdthAR0/SPQAFuH9JgI/AAAAAAAAITw/80u86g35BEw/s1600/jordan_young_explicit.jpg NSFW, but kinda fun) helps me out considerably more often than the degree.

Incidentally, did you know Jordan Young is a reality TV producer now? Really. So there is life after porn, Benedick, you just have to keep at it.

If it came to it, Scarecrow, I’d probably miss you most of all.

Ugh. I am SO lacrimose and earnest lately. Don’t we have rules about that sort of thing?
@Dodgerblue: Tell me about it, Mr. Tee-vee Star. ;-)

5:17 pm • Saturday • August 31, 2013

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: I looked just like that guy before I started smoking marijuana.

Y’know, on the TV thing, when I do an interview the makeup lady looks at me and calls for backup. My forehead is oily enough to lube a small car and I start sweating when the temp gets over 60.

5:32 pm • Saturday • August 31, 2013

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: Has Mr Young considered a career in musical theatre? He could be big.

FYI. The hub is watching My Fair Lady as I type. I have no words. Tho I did once play Pickering. As an athletic, sporty daddy who changed his clothes A LOT, and was once the regimental wrestling champ and who generously took young subalterns just arrived from Blighty under his wing. You know the type.

@Dodgerblue: Make them powder you and rinse with water. Don’t touch with a brush. Trust me.

6:09 pm • Saturday • August 31, 2013

@Benedick: He’s big in Japan, I’m sure.

What?

6:40 pm • Saturday • August 31, 2013

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: We do have rules against dropping MFA words like “lachrymose”. They steal focus from approved MA words like “epistemology”.

@Benedick: Also, “subaltern”? Keep yer bloody empire to yerself, pal.

6:45 pm • Saturday • August 31, 2013

@Benedick: Powder and rinse with water? ‘Splain, please.

Like Dodgerblue, I shvitz like crazy anytime it’s over 60 degrees, and the few times I’ve been interviewed on teevee with the lights and the whole 9 yards I was dripping by the end. I totally get why David Letterman insists that the Ed Sullivan Theater be kept at 50-55 degrees during taping. I’ve seen several tapings over the year and confirm it really is that cold in there.

6:47 pm • Saturday • August 31, 2013

@Benedick: @Dodgerblue: He’s right, no brush. Blow. Light powder then blow. Like with a hair dryer.

6:51 pm • Saturday • August 31, 2013

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing:

I would not be just a nuffin
My head all full of stuffin
My heart all full of pain.
And perhaps I’d deserve ya
And be even worthy erve ya…
If I only had a brain.

Ladies and gentlemen, E.Y. Harburg.

You mean what, no brush? Or what my more muscular take on the colonel? (I say, Nigel, that’s jolly good. Heat’s a menace in Poona this time of year. You might be more comfortable if you take your shirt off. By the way, from your accent I’m guessing your people come from Sidcup. Fancy a gin?)

6:59 pm • Saturday • August 31, 2013

@nojo: Sorry, I forgot we are focused on practical disciplines like phenomenonology or spiritualism here.

Is that Hegel I hear knocking?

7:04 pm • Saturday • August 31, 2013

@Benedick: It was an ironicly racist comment on the relative generosity of his member as in …oh, never mind. He was a sine qua non back in the day, let me tell you, even if it is rather on the cute size.

Why yes, I’ll have another bottle. Thank you.

7:05 pm • Saturday • August 31, 2013

@SanFranLefty: As a lad I was trained in the art of acting without AC. Wearing woolen suits in 120% temps while pretending to be love’s young dream is no treat, let me tell you. The old way to cope was to drench any obviously sweaty bits with powder, push it into the skin, then instead of using a brush to get rid of the excess you throw water on your face trying not to touch. Then let it all air dry. I think it works. Mind you, you might end up looking like a Martian. From 50 ft away it all looks quite natural – allowing for exaggeration. On the other hand you might try gin. It has the remarkable effect of lowering the body temp.

8:50 pm • Saturday • August 31, 2013

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: Wow. Is that the rising son I’ve been hearing so much about?

11:23 pm • Saturday • August 31, 2013

@flypaper: He goes down on the west.

12:29 am • Sunday • September 1, 2013

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: Looks to me like he needs an anointing. Strange to say the local Rinpoche Handjob celebrates his 90th sometime soon. One could only wish this fine upstanding young man could be there to shower our holy leader.

2:00 am • Sunday • September 1, 2013

@Benedick: Those Rinpoches can party. The Animal House of Buddhism.

8:32 pm • Sunday • September 1, 2013

@Walking Still: ACK!

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: I’m so not into musicals, but I did recognize the last one. Hirsute winged thing =/= enchanting.

DON’T GO TO LAW SCHOOL

Hospice work: The things about you that will make you exceptional are also the things that will break your heart. Think about volunteering first. There are usually several needs: spending time with patients, spending time with their families (assuming family shows up), and grief counseling/follow-up for up to a year after the patient dies. This is something I want to do (and was on my way to doing), before I jetted out here.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: I know better than to click on your links.

@¡Andrew!: I miss you.

1:41 am • Monday • September 2, 2013

@JNOV: Click the link. CLICK IT! He’s shiny and I bet he smells like baby powder when it counts.

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