We’re Dancing As Fast As We Can

Our guest columnist is in deep shit.

The National Rifle Association of America is made up of four million moms and dads, sons and daughters – and we were shocked, saddened and heartbroken by the news of the horrific and senseless murders in Newtown.

Out of respect for the families, and as a matter of common decency, we have given time for mourning, prayer and a full investigation of the facts before commenting.

The NRA is prepared to offer meaningful contributions to help make sure this never happens again.

The NRA is planning to hold a major news conference in the Washington, DC area on Friday, December 21.

NRA Statement on Newtown School Shootings [WSJ]

9 comments:

7:30 pm • Tuesday • December 18, 2012

Now dance! <kapow!>

7:35 pm • Tuesday • December 18, 2012

“The NRA is planning to hold a major news conference in the Washington, DC area on Friday, December 21.”

Holy shit, maybe the Mayans were right after all.

7:37 pm • Tuesday • December 18, 2012

@IanJ: I looked real hard for something like that, but “western movie shooter tap dance” just doesn’t work in Google Images.

7:55 pm • Tuesday • December 18, 2012

Does waiting for a full investigation of the facts mean they’re hoping a medical examiner will rule all the victims died from athlete’s foot or maybe from halitosis instead of from bullets ripping through their bodies?

7:58 pm • Tuesday • December 18, 2012

@nojo: I can see how that would be a difficult image to find. I think tapdancing is a fine substitute, though.

@SanFranLefty: Yeah, they’re gonna hold a major press conference saying they’re doubling down on the crazy. Don’t hold your breath expecting them to bow to something as inconvenient as reality.

8:35 pm • Tuesday • December 18, 2012

@SanFranLefty: ok, you win the Internet. What will you do with your new real estate?

8:49 pm • Tuesday • December 18, 2012

They will announce that they are forming a committee to study whether crazy people should have access to assault rifles.

9:14 pm • Tuesday • December 18, 2012
11:12 am • Wednesday • December 19, 2012

They may be willing to compromise on 50 round clips and rocket propelled grenades. Stinger missles are still off the table–you gotta have something in case the black helicopters show up.

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