I Won’t Be Back

Title: “Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story”

Author: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Rank: 38

Blurb: “With Maria Shriver, he raised four fantastic children. In the wake of a scandal he brought upon himself, he tried to keep his family together.”

Review: “He adores Maria, but he also adores cars, and it’s hard not to notice that he describes his first customized Humvee with the same gushing voice he uses for his wife.”

Customers Also Bought: “I Hate Everyone… Starting with Me” by Joan Rivers

Footnote: Shame is for sissies.

Total Recall [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

28 comments:

7:38 am • Sunday • October 7, 2012

Does this mean he won’t be running for Preznit?

4:45 pm • Sunday • October 7, 2012

Fucking Ahnold and his overuse of the word “fantastic” – drove me crazy when he was the Governor.

5:37 pm • Sunday • October 7, 2012

Totally unshopped photo of totally unshopped life.

7:42 pm • Sunday • October 7, 2012

@SanFranLefty: your governor schtupped a maid, mine a hooker. Mine resigned, yours wasn’t caught. Mine had a distinguished record. Yours? eh …

9:25 pm • Sunday • October 7, 2012

Scariest thing about Ahnold is if he announced tomorrow morning he was running for president and to hell with the Constitution, he’d probably take at least half of Mitt’s voters with him. After witnessing the Reagan years in CA and DC, Representative Gopher, both Sonny Bono AND Sonny Bono’s widow in Congress, plus Arnold as The Governator, I will never ever underestimate the power of celebrity in politics.

9:34 pm • Sunday • October 7, 2012

He still can’t run, of course. But don’t let that stop a bunch of Teabaggers from looking the other way from THE VERY ISSUE they spent years dogging Obama about.

9:38 pm • Sunday • October 7, 2012

Sure he can run. And by the time teabaggers pass the 28th Amendment, he can win.

10:29 pm • Sunday • October 7, 2012

In more important news, I heard the first geese flying south this evening. Just a few. Let’s hope they make it past the exterminating trucks on Long Island.

Plus, can someone please explain to me why on earth Jon Stewart would want to ‘debate’ Bill O’Reilly? What kind of fool can he be? He surely can’t need the money. This is exactly the kind of impulse for which he mocks the Democrats – and most especially the president. I stopped watching him and Colbert as a result of that sophomoric and vain ‘march’ they organized. He claims to only be a comedian: that does not absolve him of all responsibility.

10:38 pm • Sunday • October 7, 2012

@Benedick: His part of the fee is earmarked for charity. Don’t know about O’Reilly, or the production company that botched the livestream.

To the general point, Stewart likes to take a “nothing personal” approach — sure, he’ll debate O’Reilly, because we’re all civil here, right? Never mind O’Reilly’s role in George Tiller’s murder — hey, that’s just show business.

Stewart and Colbert are still the only reasons I haven’t canceled cable. But Stewart’s palling around with domestic terrorists doesn’t make me happy.

11:11 pm • Sunday • October 7, 2012

@nojo: There you go. Show business. Well fuck him. Let him donate his fee to charity. Let him donate it to all of those harmed by O’Reilly. Stewart’s an amusing man. Colbert can be an incisive satirist: he’s a much more interesting performer than Stewart who remains a parlor comedian. Which goes along with lickspittle opportunism. The real talents take us to the edge of what’s possible and make us look into the gulf: we cover our eyes and shriek. They show us the boundaries. Stewart on the other hand gets us all cuddly in bed drinking hot chocolate to watch Johnny Carson: he’s so cool and he has such cool guests and he’s like so cool and says cool things and such as.

You can’t hide behind snark. You can’t just donate your fee and go home to Jersey. I think it’s fucking outrageous that he should be lending his cred to O’Reilly who goes home laughing about how gullible the jew-boy and all his fag friends are. If Stewart fucking dares to criticize the president’s performance at the 1st debate let’s talk about how he rolled over and let O’Reilly piss on his face to demonstrate his irrelevance. Because O’Reilly has political clout. Stewart is some asshole on cable. So what if O’Reilly said stuff and shit. Stewart got all up in da grillz yo like Schwartenzegger (sp WGAF) pretending to be a tough guy. He’s a performer. And so far as I’m concerned Stewart just jumped the fucking shark.

As to snark: snark is death. It is the cancer that erodes hope. It is the sneer at those less fortunate. Those less sophisticated. Those less privileged. As Wilde remarked “A cynic is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

11:35 pm • Sunday • October 7, 2012

Joan Rivers makes you gasp. Jon Stewart makes you feel like you care.

11:38 pm • Sunday • October 7, 2012

@Benedick: As usual, well said. Stewart/Bill O debating comes off exactly like Maher/Coulter. This “debate” by existing lends credibility to an extraordinarily immoral point of view on governing by treating it as simply another legitimate possibility.

Of course there will be loads of red meat for partisans on both sides and somebody will make a shitload of money, so it’s really no different than the “REAL” debates – mindless entertainment for the dumb proles.

12:58 am • Monday • October 8, 2012

@Benedick: Must you always disparage the genial? The relentless hate! Darling, we aren’t discussing Mike Lee here. Surely the venom does not spring from an endless font! Save some for Mr. Lee, who is revolting and deserving of all our spite!

You look fabulous in those pants, by the way. Banana?

1:28 am • Monday • October 8, 2012

@Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?: Darling, we aren’t discussing Mike Lee here.

And why not?

9:31 am • Monday • October 8, 2012

@Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?: Well, that’s true. I mean, Mike Lee takes us to a place so repellent we can only hope he forgets how to get back. Mike Lee is the chancre upon the tip of humanity’s penis.

BTW. I’m not going to mention Paris so nobody ask me. My lips are sealed. As the actress said to the

1:12 am • Tuesday • October 9, 2012

@Benedick: Oh for goodness sake. How was Paris?

8:24 am • Tuesday • October 9, 2012

@Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?: Haven’t I said I don’t want to talk about it? Why am I being hounded? Can we please let it drop? I don’t want to talk about Paris!!!

12:55 pm • Tuesday • October 9, 2012

@Benedick: Come now, you minx. We want details.

2:00 pm • Tuesday • October 9, 2012

@Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?: OMG. Can’t I get any peace? I told you, I don’t want to talk about it.

4:41 pm • Tuesday • October 9, 2012

@Benedick: I happened past an Interpol notice about seeking someone dressed only in assless chaps in relation to certain events in Paris. Is that why you don’t want to talk about it? And were you wearing these assless chaps, or were you responsible for getting them onto the bon homme in question?

5:30 pm • Tuesday • October 9, 2012

@IanJ: Maybe someone has pictures of our dear Benedick in Le Drag. I hear he looks like a cross between Anne Hathaway and Bebe Rebozo.

6:21 pm • Tuesday • October 9, 2012

@Benedick: April In Paris with the unforgettable Sarah Vaughn.

6:22 pm • Tuesday • October 9, 2012

@Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?: Lefty’s SF Giants have an outfielder named “Hunter Pence” and every time I hear the name, I think the announcer is saying “underpants.” “And Underpants picks up the ball in the corner . . .”

6:51 pm • Tuesday • October 9, 2012

@Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?: @IanJ: Oh good God, all right, all right, since you just won’t leave me alone I’ll have to tell you that a play will be opening Dec 1st with which I have some connection. Yes, the theatre is gorgeous. Yes, I will be there. Yes there will be champagne, flowers, and big hugs all round. Yes, I will call everybody Darling.

I hope you’re happy now you forced it out of me.

7:09 pm • Tuesday • October 9, 2012

@Benedick: Damn, I’ll be in Hong Kong. But it will still be playing in January, n’est-ce pas?

7:41 pm • Tuesday • October 9, 2012

@Dodgerblue: It’s an open-ended run. Fingers crossed.

8:01 pm • Tuesday • October 9, 2012

@Benedick: Crossed. I’d like to take my wife to Paris in January to see it, go to museums etc. She’ll deserve it after putting up with her mother over the holidays.

8:39 pm • Tuesday • October 9, 2012

@Benedick: no chance for a run through the former colonies of South Asia? I’ll be somewhere outside of Mandalay this winter.

@Dodgerblue: HK in Dec? Early or late? I’ll probably be transiting there late November, early December, especially if I can finagle a stopover in Honolulu. We have people there who keep an eye on Asia from a perspective I rarely have access to.

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