Yeah, Whatever

So I’ve just been hanging here, watching you humans hold your election, and I’ve been thinking: Why all the artifice? Why not just howl and spit and bare your fangs and extend your claws and fight madly for ten seconds and get it out of your system? Then, when it’s all done, you can head for the woods and fuck your brains out.

That’s what I’d do, anyway. But what do I know? I’m just a Higher Mammal.

[via Know Your Meme]

21 comments:

7:39 am • Saturday • September 15, 2012

Sitting in the morning sun
I’ll be sitting when the evening comes
Watching people walk in
And I watch ‘em walk away again

Sitting on the curb of the way
Watching the crowd walk away
I’m just sitting on the curb of the way
Wasting time

10:21 am • Saturday • September 15, 2012

This cat has obviously been drugged by Romney/Ryan conspirators.

4:08 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

100 in Sandy Eggo this hour. In case anyone cares to gloat while you have a chance. Although it’s a dry heat, so careful how you style it.

5:33 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

@nojo: 103 in Los Angeles, 94 here in Santa Monica. They sold a lot of Cool-a-Coos at the ballgame last night.

6:02 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

@Dodgerblue: We’re back in double-digits — mild 97. Whew. That was close.

7:39 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

@nojo: @Dodgerblue: 72 degrees, blue sky, fog hasn’t rolled in yet. Probably in the high 70s down the road in Shallow Alto, perfect weather on the Farm for The Tree to try to upset the University of $poiled Children.

Oh, and go Ducks.

7:44 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

@SanFranLefty: go Ducks

Who?

/returns to laying out alumni enewsletter

7:53 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

@Dodgerblue: @SanFranLefty: Quite weird today. First, it doesn’t do that here — even 90 would be an achievement. Second, we already did toasty/sticky a few weeks ago — this is a late hit.

Finally, it was actually quite pleasant when I woke up. Then, around 10 a.m., you could feel it kick in, fast.

But still — very dry. I’m surprised the shrubs haven’t spontaneously combusted.

8:21 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

@nojo: Mr. SFL enjoyed last issue’s article about the history of the Duck mascot.

8:38 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

@nojo: I will always think of San Diego as a hot, humid hellhole with no AC, thanks to my unfortunately timed visit.

8:39 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

@SanFranLefty:

Then Oregon’s duck endured another popularity contest in 1978 when a cartoonist for the student newspaper pushed his Mallard Drake as a suitable successor to Donald, prompting one local high school student to comment that “if that sleazy Duck makes it, I’m going to OSU.” Donald was the students’ overwhelming choice by a 2-to-1 landslide in an election that saw more than twice the typical voter turnout on campus.

Gee, I wonder which 53-year-old blogger who spearheaded the satirical pro-Donald campaign in 1978 originally made that observation in the student newspaper?

8:50 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

@nojo: I certainly hope the short-lived 2002 “Roboduck” was meant to be satirical…

9:09 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

@SanFranLefty: Happily, I had no knowledge of that one…

But since 1978, especially after the UO crafted a formal arrangement with Disney (instead of just relying on a Forties photo of Walt with the athletic director), use of Donald has been strictly limited — and there’s been more than one attempt to create an Alternate Duck that doesn’t require sharing royalties.

9:16 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

@nojo: The best part of the article was showing the Duck through the years. It happened that the article was first read while Mr. SFL and I were visiting his college roommate, so a very heated and animated discussion about the terribleness of Roboduck took at least 20 minutes of my life.

Meanwhile, could the FOX announcers stop sucking U$C dick? I bet that fucking network won’t have the cojones to show the Stanford Band’s halftime performance ragging on the Trojans. Amirite, Chicago Bureau and JNOV? Good to know we have Dodger on our side for tonight’s game. Amirite, Dodger?

Even if we lose, we still have a more adorable coach in David Shaw. I’m just troubled by the fact that there are more Spoiled Children fans in the stadium than Stanford fans. Classes started on Monday, where the hell are they? (Probably drinking in the dorms or out by the Dish, having sold their discounted student tickets to asshat USC alums for a nice markup).

9:27 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

@nojo: Can you give me the short explanation as to what this #abusivefuck @shoq thing you are doing on Teh Twitterz? I don’t understand the Tweets you kids do, and I refuse to move to that universe of social media.

ADD: Though I checked and apparently I have a Twitter account.

/fuck, SC just intercepted! How many fucking interceptions are we going to have? I need to do work.

9:27 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

@SanFranLefty: Ah. OQ. (Hmmm…Wonder who named that magazine…?) That’s not alumni — separate department. (And last office job.) So let’s have a read…

“Loyal fans nixed the newcomer in a landslide vote—1,068 to 590.”

I may have to write a letter. The whole campaign was a joke — on both sides. And Mallard was the student newspaper’s editorial duck, not something created for the purpose. The canned histories always get it wrong.

9:37 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

@SanFranLefty: @Shoq is a very popular progressive tweeter — he’s had some dealings with Van Jones and Krystal Ball.

A few weeks ago, one of his acolytes, with whom he was having some sort of online affair, posted the audio of some very nasty phone calls he made while they were breaking up. (They never met in person.) They were emotionally abusive, and as the fallout started happening online, he accused his accusers — also progressives — of taking down Obama with him, and sending his mother to the hospital.

He later explained, in a leaked email, that he made up the story about his mother to rat out snitches — that’s when I started tweeting about it, although I had been following Jesus’ General’s tweets on the matter before then. The paranoia was jaw-dropping.

For all of Shoq’s self-importance, I had never heard of him before this erupted two weeks ago. And I’ve since learned that a Friend of Stinquer was also one of Shoq’s targets.

9:42 pm • Saturday • September 15, 2012

@SanFranLefty: @Shoq also spearheaded one of the Stop Rush movements, so there’s a lot on Wingnut glee with these events as well. He’s a major player in the Right/Left Pissing Match.

3:55 am • Sunday • September 16, 2012

@SanFranLefty:

Okay, let’s do this…

To the Editor:

As the co-conspirator, with [my dorm roommate], behind the Retain Class in Your Bird committee – the 1978 “Save Donald” group — it’s always amused me that histories of the Duck misinterpret what that election was about.

It was a joke.

The Emerald was running a series of house ads promoting its editorial duck — Steve Sandstrom’s Mallard Drake — as mascot. [Roommate] and I, both freshmen that spring, didn’t really care about Donald’s honor — we just wanted in on the gag.

So we created our RCYB (riffing on the acronym of a campus protest group), stapled photocopied posters across campus, held an “upper-class sit-in” at the Emerald, and otherwise made merry with the campaign — which led to that 2-1 vote that outpolled the ASUO presidential race on the same ballot.

Best part of the joke? The referendum itself had nothing to do with Donald — it was merely whether to approve Mallard. But it’s always been regarded as a Donald confirmation ever since.

[Nojo] ’81 MA ’91
San Diego, California

We’ll see if they print it. And we’ll see whether they ever get around to launching the new website I geeked for them this year…

5:24 pm • Sunday • September 16, 2012

That’s Catt on Sunday morning, huh?

So, I can barely get on the internet due to homelessness issues (should be resolved in a week), but still…

1. I agree with anything Lefty says about any school anywhere.

2. I probably agree with anything Nojo says about anything re: the election and politics in general, but I will rarely admit it.

3. I cheer for DB’s baseball team just out of love for him.

4. Seattle is pretty cool, and I really like the folks who walk about in Ducks attire despite it all. Not a whole lotta fan violence a la Philly out here, but I’ll keep an eye on the (pitiful) U-Dub kids.

5. Still need to see The Sound. Think I can finally differentiate the Cascades from the Olympian/ics/those other mountains.

6. Being homeless is a full-time job — finding shelter, food, access to showers, laundry facilities — until you’ve lived it, you have no idea how time-consuming and scary it is. Usually you’re too busy trying to access help and finding work that you’re able to suppress the howling fantods for awhile.

Sometimes I wonder when my teeth will fall out and whether I’ll care. It’s tiring. You get incredibly ill often. You wonder if people on the bus can smell you. And you know that if you can’t get out of this hole, one day you will not care one way or another.

But for The Elizabeth Gregory Home (EGH), I wouldn’t have eaten 13 of the last 27 days.

Were it not for access to email at EGH center, I would have missed the job offer I received from the Auburn VA. I start work on the 24th.

The women at the EGH are trying to help me find an apartment closer to Auburn, because I can’t keep this job if I can’t shower and iron my clothes before I leave for work. They are not associated with any religion. They don’t ask you why you’re homeless. They don’t treat you like some loser who has wasted your potential, and they don’t think that any homeless person is better than another. They help each person they touch according to that person’s goals and needs, and they don’t judge.

Today is Jr’s 23rd birthday. 23 years ago was the first time in my life I felt unconditional love. It took 23 years for me to feel it again. I didn’t ask him what he wanted for his birthday, because I know that I can’t give it to him.

That’s said, I wouldn’t change this experience. I’ve learned a lot, things I needed to learn firsthand. And ashamed as I am, things I need to share.

6:37 pm • Sunday • September 16, 2012

@JNOV: Sending you my love and good karma wishes. Happy anniversary to you of the occasion of giving birth to your lovely son. This new gig sounds like something you’d be great at with your advocacy skills. Hang in there, sister, things will get better. Keep writing, stay safe and don’t be a stranger.

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