When Caricatures Collide

So we’re watching this Newt attack ad on Rachel last night, when suddenly we bark.

Understand, barking — HAH! — is something usually reserved for Jon & Stephen, not the evening news. We don’t just bark at anything. We have standards.

So, what let the dogs out? It wasn’t the highlight reel of Mitt’s Greatest Misses. That just elicited Mild Amusement, something akin to that smarmy smug grin Mitt adopts while he’s waiting for applause to fade. (Seriously, have you seen that look? Mitt is the Douchebag in Chief.)

No, it was right near the end, the title card that attempted to drive the point home:

Only Newt Gingrich can win the debates against Obama. Mitt Romney can’t.

HAH!

Two things:

1. It’s not our line, alas, but we’ll say again that Newt is a stupid person’s idea of what a smart person sounds like. To think that he would stand a chance against somebody like Obama is adorably deluded.

2. And shouldn’t Teleprompter-jockey Obama be a pushover, not even able to withstand the rhetorical mastery of Rick Perry? Isn’t that the point of the Empty Suit caricature, that he’s a good line-reader and nothing else?

In other words: We need Newt Gingrich to debate a man who can’t win a debate.

But then, that’s the genius of Republicans: Their ability to hold contradictory thoughts in their minds without their heads exploding.