Our guest columnist is the Associated Press.

Editors:

Friday is royal wedding day in London and our report will look a little different.

As Prince William and Kate Middleton say their vows, The Associated Press will be alerting every development, running live video in SD and HD, tweeting and posting on Facebook, updating a multifaceted interactive, sending four radio packages an hour and filing hundreds of photographs from key vantage points.

We will also be creating something new: an hours-long running account of the wedding in progress for text subscribers — a little like what we’ve done with major sporting events such as the Super Bowl and top World Cup matches. Our text coverage for the big day will be three-tiered: A minute-by-minute running account of the events, APNewsAlerts and APNewsNows when events merit, and full stories including a mainbar and sidebars.

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Anyway.  If you’re up watching this crap from Merrie Old, feel free to vent here.

I will say this: the quality of media coverage of this was not unexpected, yet is still shocking.  The buy-in is total.  Only with an event like this can you have somebody bringing trees inside a church for a wedding, and have talking heads come across and say that they were going for “sustainable” rather than “absurdly decadent.”

And yet the media are shoveling this into their mouths as if it were oatmeal on a cold, winter morn.  And so are the great unwashed masses, lining the Mall with fake plastic crap on their heads, and lining up at the buffets at street parties with fake plastic crap on their heads (perhaps with feathers sticking out or something).

Really. When the President rolls by (whoever it is, however you feel about the guy), we either wave and shout a little bit, or flip him off and shout a little louder.  When they see the Queen rolling (or, in this case, kids who won’t be King and Queen for at least 40 years), everybody acts like they’re back in the first grade.

No (more) official commentary from me.  Your observations, as events (finally) unfold, in the comments box, please.

Texas state representative Leo Berman is, um, burning (sorry) with questions about The First Birth Certificate:

Why did it take the president so long, amid a conservative firestorm, to release it? Why does it look “brand new,” he said, when it’s supposed to be five decades old? Why doesn’t the hospital listed on the birth certificate have a “plaque on the door” commemorating Obama’s birth there? And has anyone checked with the delivery room doctor listed on the birth certificate (whose name Berman says is curiously difficult to make out)?

In order:

1. It took so long because it’s fun to watch Birthers twist in the wind.

2. It looks brand new because it’s a microfilm copy printed on fresh paper.

3. Ask the hospital.

4. The Baby Doc’s dead, Jim.

Regarding that last answer, let’s bring in Eric Bolling of Fox Business for special credit:

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With all the attention lately to birthers and afterbirthers, we may have lost track as to what is going on with the pre-birthers. Remember, the 2010 election was about  how people don’t want the government to get between them and their doctor.

Oh, wait.

Well, never fear, Stinque has your War on Lady-Bits weekly update:

In Louisiana, a state representative who last year had proposed a $1,000 payment to poor women getting sterilized coupled with tax incentives for “college-educated, higher-income people to have more children,” has introduced a bill that would rename the medical procedure of abortion as “feticide,” and make anyone – including a pregnant woman – guilty of a felony sentence of 15 years in prison, for any death of a fetus.  He explained his reasoning for the bill with this gem:

“I think the main difference between 1973 and now is that technology that we have. We can peer into the uterus and see an image that even my 4-year-old would say, you know, that’s a baby.”

Alrighty. Let’s move along to another part of the country, shall we? These are just the highlights from the past week or so.   According to Slate, 916 measures regulating reproductive rights have been introduced in 49 states since the start of the year. Read more »

Comics Alliance, one of our regular sources for offbeat news, reported yesterday that Superman is giving up his U.S. citizenship. (Yes, yes, he’s not “natural born”, and all that.) The plot twist is that he’s saving the world from Iran right now, and he doesn’t want his actions to reflect on the U.S. government.

Well, fine, we thought. Pass. We haven’t reported on the Gay Archie character either, after all.

But then it turns up in today’s political news: “Leftist Crap in the Comic Books: Superman to Renounce American Citizenship”. Thanks, Newsbusters!

And so we return to the original post and discover a Don’t Read the Comments extravaganza!

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We just got curious about the relationship between tornadoes and climate change — this is looking like a record-breaking month for twisters — and happily for us, so did WaPo’s Andrew Freedman. So instead of calling a bunch of meteorologists and surveying the literature, we’re going to relay his take, granting that it’s not definitive.

First, tornadoes require a specific recipe to happen: warmth, humidity, a strong jet stream, and wind shear. Add a cold front, and there go the cows.

It’s the jet stream — perhaps caused by La Niña in the Pacific — that’s forcing the issue in the South. The Gulf of Mexico is also running up to 2.5 degrees Celsius above average, providing more evaporated moisture to the brew.

Wait — warm seas? That’s the climate-change smoking gun, isn’t it?

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Among the many delightful responses to Wednesday’s dramatic reveal of The Birth Certificate of The Preznit of These United States, pride of place must go to WorldNetDaily’s Jerome Corsi, whose upcoming book, Where’s the Birth Certificate?, just suffered the most spectacular Spoiler Alert! in American history.

Because while his life’s work goes down in flames, Jerome Corsi stands defiantly amid the destruction, proclaiming Fiddle dee dee! As God is my witness, they’re not going to lick me!

Or, more prosaically:

A key problem for Obama is that birth certificates issued to twin girls born one day later at Kapi’olani hospital, the Nordykes, are the Rosetta Stone of deciphering both Obama’s previously released short-form Certification of Live Birth and the newly released purported copy of his long-form birth certificate.

Oooooooh, a new plot twist!

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