Golden Anal Pear for Asshole of the Year
Here’s all you need to know: Joe Lieberman, two-time winner of the Golden Anal Pear, is attempting the first threepeat of the Stinque Awards, after which we would be obligated hang his sorry ass from the rafters. Can he do it? Will this be the moment you share with your grandchildren, like Nixon’s resignation and the M*A*S*H finale?
Or will Joe be denied by Glenn Beck, master of the Demon Blackboard? Jan Brewer, mistress of the Death Panel? Pam Geller, micturator of the “Ground Zero Mosque”? Mitch McConnell, whom a Nominator warned might actually enjoy having his ass reamed by a medieval torture implement?
And the winner is…
Pam Geller. Damn that DADT repeal! Why did it have to be now, instead of months ago, when we could safely forget it? The Judges are sorry, Joe. They just couldn’t do it.
Oh, and Pam? We’ll see you in Hell.
Next hour: Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement