GOP Sisterhood of the Traveling Birthers?

Stinque’s favorite Israeli-Russian emigre, birther, dentist, and soon-to-be-disbarred member of the California Bar may very well end up winning the GOP primary for California Secretary of State tomorrow.  While she’s only raised $6,000 for her campaign (H/T Bloggie), and there has been no official polling for this race,  straw polls at Tea Party events indicate that the teabaggers are rallying to support Orly Taitz’s campaign against a former professional football player, Damon Dunn, who is the party establishment’s choice.

More than a few party operatives are chewing their fingernails at the thought of another Rand Paul-type upset in a GOP primary.

On the other hand, your West Coast editors at Stinque are overwhelmed with excitement at the thought of four months of covering Meg, Carly, and Orly campaigning across the state. Oooh, and what if Talibunny joins them on the campaign trail?

A girl can dream…

Politico reports:

Longtime California GOP strategist Allan Hoffenblum, who publishes the California Target Book, says a Taitz victory is entirely possible. “It will be a complete embarrassment if she wins, but these things can happen,” he said.

….

“I’m not running a primary campaign against Orly Taitz,” Dunn says. “I’m just going to take the high road.”

Not everyone is convinced it’s going to work.

“Dunn has not done enough,” Lacy [a state GOP operative] said.

“For professional Republicans right now, the main tactic in regards to Orly Taitz is prayer,” said Jack Pitney, a political science professor at Claremont McKenna College and a longtime observer of California politics.

As with her lawsuits against President Obama, Taitz has filed suits challenging Dunn’s standing to run for Secretary of State, arguing that because he registered to vote as a Democrat in Florida when he lived there, he is disqualified to run in the primary.  She also has attacked Dunn, a graduate of Stanford University and a real estate entrepreneur, as a RINO and a beneficiary of Republican Party affirmative action.

All joking aside, Secretary of State does have some important responsibilities, unlike the Lieutenant Governor, which include:

  • Serving as the state’s Chief Elections Officer
  • Implementing electronic filing and Internet disclosure of campaign and lobbyist financial information
  • Maintaining all corporate and business filings
  • Commissioning notaries public
  • Maintaining the state’s Domestic Partners and Advance Health Care Directive Registries

Luckily, the incumbent Democrat Debra Bowen is forecast to easily win reelection.

[Orly Taitz, Pancake Birther by Dan Lacey]
50 Comments

Oh MY FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!! MY EYES!!!

I don’t want to know what was cropped but thank you.

@ManchuCandidate: She’s giving birth to little pancakes. The painting drives her nuts and the artist is selling them on E-Bay, just to bring it all full-circle.

@SanFranLefty:
Good thing I’m not a pancake person or I’d consider never eating them again.

As to the artist. To each their own. I’ll pass on making any judgment on that.

You broke some sort of nonexistent but must be codified rule with that placenta pancake, Lefty. Only Cristiano will save us.

@JNOV: I was trying to find an image more horrifying than the poor dead birds coated in oil. I may have succeeded.

‘Scuse me, I need to go wash my brain. Anyone have any bleach? Or, you know, 20 grid sandpaper?

Wimps. You haven’t seen it with a black light.

My work is done. Time to head home for a martini to celebrate finally outChainSawing ChainSaw.

You’re right about this, SFL, it’s gonna be a wacky election season.

@JNOV: @Dodgerblue: Only 3.7? Please. A passing delivery truck shakes more.

@nojo: I felt it all the way over here…

My secret LA source says there was one in the same spot last night.

@Dodgerblue: Well, yeah, but anything below 4.0 isn’t worth a fire alarm, and you need to approach 5.0 before it gets interesting.

@nojo: My protocol after the Northridge quake, with its many strong aftershocks, was not to roll over in bed for anything under 5.0. But two of these modest bumps in a day gives me some concern. I’m waiting for CalTech earthquake guru Dr. Lucy Jones to tell me everything is gonna be OK. Until then, I’m going out to have a beer.

Hey, everyone, I’ve been banned or something from bankofamericasucks.com for being righteous. Please, everyone register there and shit savagely all over everyone who appears to work for the bank and go nuts demanding the bank be dechartered. Just go fucking nuts on the assholes, please.

There is a question that is totally unanswered by that image, and that question is this:

Does the carpet match the drapes?

We may never know.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg:
That is a question best left unanswered. I fear that the reaction would be like looking into the Ark of the Covenant complete with face melting. This coming from a guy who doesn’t mind diving in.

@SanFranLefty: I’m sorry, but the painting is beautiful. I’m serious. It shows her in a more dignified light than any photo of her I have ever seen.

@FlyingChainSaw:

Did you bring up skullfucking? I understand that other intertoobz sites discourage references to skullfucking…

@FlyingChainSaw: Yeah, I can’t imagine what you’d have to say — other than praising BoA — that would get you banned from a site specifically set up for peeps to say nasty things. What did you say?

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: No. Lots of references to necrobestalial habits of BofA execs, etc. with no ill effects, of course, since it’s all true. No, I was sick of one dweeb and tried to register a name almost identical to a BofA employee attack-dog to have fun with him appearing to apologize for all of BofAs crimes and they banned that identity. I tried a few others and they all got banned for using more than one ID. No sense of humor.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Nope. All my skull fucking riffs are exclusive to Stinque.com since the site is not afraid to deliver the apocalyptically vulgar.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Everything is better with skullfucking. Everyone knows that.

@FlyingChainSaw: The best compliment of our site I’ve heard yet. Nojo will be a proud papa.

@SanFranLefty: Woah. You have mind-melded with Chainsaw! Spooky.

@flippin eck: After we bonded over our common love of well-endowed gingers on Friday’s Stinque After Darque, our mind meld of the apocalyptically vulgar was just a matter of time. Birthing pancakes is pretty tame, all things considered.

ADD: Oh Holy Fuck, I wrote that response to you before seeing that FCS wrote the exact same thing as me at the exact same time. Can I nominate the two of us for the Stinque Twitter message for tomorrow?

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Uh, Dodger and the long-absent-and-missed Ewalda can testify to the contrary, having enjoyed a lovely meal with both me and FCS in the sunshine of San Francisco.

Where’s fucking Dodger to get my back when I need him? Off drinking beer, bitching about the Lakers and oil spills…

@SanFranLefty: Right here, mi corazon. Is someone hassling you? I will hurt them.

@Dodgerblue: Please tell @Tommie that you once had lunch in Ess Eff with both me and FCS sitting at the same table as you, and we most assuredly are not one and the same.

kthxbai!

@SanFranLefty: @Dodgerblue:

Sure, call on your goon squad…

THE TRUTH WILL OUT! WE SHALL OVERCOME!

@SanFranLefty: SFL is correct. The long-lost StringBikiniTheory was also present. I remember this clearly because I had the pleasure of walking behind SFL while we both approached the place of assignation, er, meeting.

@Dodgerblue: Seriously? What was his other name? Sarah Silverman? Was SBT riding Rand Paul’s dick? ;-)

@JNOV: He had another handle that he used, but I can’t remember it. SFL probably will. He was way more conservative than the average Stinquer.

@Dodgerblue: Libertarian Tool, and thinly disguised alter-ego Blue Something. I think.

However, not “Kaiser Soze with a Ponytail.”

@Dodgerblue: Clarification: That was Ewalda. SBT/LT was off fishing in the Midwest or something. SBT had lunch with you, me, and Cubbie when he was visiting from Hotlanta.

@nojo: Nabisco says Donald Fagen.

@FlyingChainSaw:

So a long-form version of “HAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS”… Nice.

@al2o3cr: No, more like DIE Bank of America and suck napalm cocks in hell forever and a day! dieidiediediedie you gravy sucking pigs, fuck die you fux!

That should do it

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