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Morning Sedition

Amazing Facts About IBM’s Cat Computer

Wackawacka.

IBM said it has already simulated a cat-sized cerebral cortex — the area of the brain that’s key to memory, attention, and consciousness — using a massive Blue Gene supercomputer at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California.

  • Sleeps 22 hours a day
  • Refuses commands
  • Rejects mouse

  • Distracted by tweets
  • Susceptible to worms
  • Self-cleaning sandbox
  • Plays with own antenna
  • Haz cheezburger
  • iTunes offers custom Meow Mix
  • Still not as smart as Maru
IBM lab builds computerized cat brain [The Register]


7:00 am • Friday • November 20, 2009
366 views • comment

7 comments:

ManchuCandidate
7:11 am • Friday • November 20, 2009

Let me know if it screws with your dreams like the cats I’ve dealt with.

When I cat sat for a friend, I once had the same nightmare over several days of being John Hurt’s character from the movie Alien (of something bursting out of my chest) while being set on fire in a fur suit. It wasn’t till I realized that it was cause the cats liked to sleep on my chest and occasionally used it as a scratching post.

Capt Howdy
9:43 am • Friday • November 20, 2009

I will see your cat brain and raise you a worm phaser

Researchers have now found a way to paralyse tiny worms when they expose them to ultraviolet light.
Even when the ultraviolet light was turned off the animals stayed stunned.
However, if they were subsequently exposed to a different form of light they recovered again and were able to move.

Benedick
10:19 am • Friday • November 20, 2009

They might do better trying to recreate a Republican brain. It would be smaller and less complex.

FlyingChainSaw
10:20 am • Friday • November 20, 2009

IBM forgot the part showing up the minute you sit down to dinner, padding over to the cat box to take a massive, grimacing shit and wafting the fumes at you with their tail.

Capt Howdy
10:46 am • Friday • November 20, 2009

since its an animal thread. dont mess with Woody.
this is one gutsy little red headed little snake fucker.

Prommie
12:23 pm • Friday • November 20, 2009

@ManchuCandidate: You channeling Joe Heller? What was it, Hoople’s cat?

redmanlaw
2:53 pm • Friday • November 20, 2009

@Benedick: Any old reptile brain will do.

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