You Can’t Spell Trojan Without “O.J.”

You have got to find room for Pepperdine. Any university that employs Ken Starr as dean of the law school has to make the worst college list.

@Dave H: Amen to that.

Dodgerblue: See, the preseason polls had Pepperdine in the top/bottom five. Voters may be overcompensating for overrating them early.

“Points off turnover.” The second-best three-word phrase in history. (No. 1 being, of course, “I love you.” Awww.) Stanford pounds it down the Trojans’ throat after a fumble. STAN 7:0 U$C.

Good God. Toby Gerhart just carries people with him when he gets hit. Yards After Contact are hawt.

(But also: current STAN drive is off of a pick. U$C is minus two on the turnovers early. I don’t expect that to last for long, but for right now, it’s good. And Gerhart powers in. Near the end of the first — STAN 14:0 U$C. Good good good.)

Tree 14, U$C 0

Gerhart is amazing. And the Stanford QB? Isn’t he like a sophomore?

And can someone explain to me how the Spoiled Children have THREE FUCKING LOSSES and are still ranked #9 in the nation?!?! Maybe they’ll fall to #12 after Stanford beats them.

@SanFranLefty: Wahoo! Go, Tree!

SanFranLefty: Just the first quarter, Lefty — one Trojan just broke open.

(And thus we have the one, and the only, condom joke of the afternoon from me. I thank you.)

@SanFranLefty: No, he’s a redshirt freshman. Wow. I’m sure JamieSommers knew his daddy was an Oiler, Oliver Luck.

@Dodgerblue: I thought of you when I saw this “Fear the Tree” t-shirt

What was that wackadoodle U$C substitution that resulted in them having 14 guys on the field? Who cares, it’s now 21-7!

Oh, nice hurry up offense. $C had about fourteen guys on the field when the ball was snapped — and the touchdown counts. Obviously. STAN 21:7 U$C.

[ADD: SFL and I both counted fourteen guys. That's because we both learned at Tree. We is smart.]

@SanFranLefty: Few people down here in Los Angels would understand it. We do not have the benefits of a Stanford education.

@chicago bureau: USC students can’t count above 10.

Yo, SFL (and other Fans of Tree): what Big Game plans do you have? Here, it’s a bar at Lincoln Park with other alums — which is my one annual trip to a Lincoln Park bar.

@chicago bureau: Sitting on my couch watching the game. I can’t convince Mr. SFL to go to the game. He’s still bitter about last week’s Duck hunting.

I’m going to turn out the lights and tiptoe away.

Nice drive killing facemask penalty there. (Actually, they call it a hold, but good enough for now.)

@Benedick: Darling, I’m with you.

And Toby Gerhart carrying 21 units at present. (You have to get a waiver to go above 20 in any one quarter, if I recall right.) Awesome.

HALFTIME: STAN 21:7 U$C — great stop at the end.

@chicago bureau: If you want to be a total nerd, you can watch the livestream on the Tubez of the women’s soccer team playing right now against the Mormoni of BYU in the NCAA tournament. I would have gone to Shallow Alto to watch them play if I had checked the schedule before 20 minutes ago.

@SanFranLefty: OK, I have to ask: do the lady soccer players wear the magic underwear during games?

Dodgerblue: Actually, I figured out the magic underwear. People misread “Nephi” for “Ne-Hi.” There you go.

@Dodgerblue: If I could get the livestreaming to work, I could tell you. But judging from the UNM-BYU game featuring the ponytail takedown, it doesn’t look like the BYU women wear it then.

Tree fumble and $poiled Children score. Crap!

SanFranLefty: Right back with another score. U. of Seventh Choice still down 2 touchdowns.

You know, there’s something there in a teaser about Gerhart — he sounded somewhat Jeebusy, but did not invoke the Big Fella by name. I am intrigued.

There is not much in this world that is more inane than the U$C Marching Band. I mean, no self-respecting musician would ever want to have anything to do with Fleetwood Mac.

STAN 28:21 U$C.

OK — honest question. Arizona is playing Kal tonight.

If Arizona wins, it makes it harder for the Card to make Pasadena.

If Arizona loses, Kal wins.

Heartwrenching.

@chicago bureau: If Oregon wins tonight, as it should, does this matter?

Dodgerblue: Well, under normal circumstances, we would hold the tie breaker (e.g, beating them) –

DEVELOPING HARD: Luck with a strike! STAN 35:21 U$C.

– but I think the Rose Bowl bid may actually depend on who has gone longer without going to the Rose Bowl. I think that Oregon has us beat there.

(ADD: Yep. Oregon last went in 1995, Stanford in 2000. If that rule still holds, then Oregon might have to lose both of their remaining games.)

(ADD: Revision. First tie-breaker is head-to-head result. Which means that if Oregon and Stanford are tied, then Stanford goes. If, however, Arizona and Stanford are tied, then Arizona goes. Arizona has three games left. Stanford has to win out and Arizona has to lose twice.)

PICK SIX! DAGGER!

STAN 42:21 U$C

You know, I am in awe of competent football. People in Chicago see that so rarely.

@chicago bureau: So I hear from my work friend who is a Bears fan. BTW your analysis of the Pac 10 possibilities is awesome.

TKO! 7 minutes left, STAN 48:21 U$C. Unreal.

(Love Harbaugh trying to put up the 50 with the 2-point conversion. Love it.)

(ADD: Tree may still get 50. A pick on the first play of the Trojans’ drive. Incredible.)

STATEMENT GAME. That’s it, and that’s all. STAN 55:21 U$C. And it’s a record for points-against at the Memorial Coliseum. (Update: Sportscasters say most points-against ever, home or away. Wow.)

@Benedick: @IanJ: Wow….wait for me, I’m coming too.

@chicago bureau: Wow. Tree kicks USC butt at USC’s homecoming game. Sweeeeet.

flippin eck: Well, the game’s over. Y’all can come back now.

@Dodgerblue: I have the biggest grin on my face. Besides setting the new record for points ever scored against U$C, I especially like that U$C wasn’t interested in local boy Gerhart.

@SanFranLefty: Plus my Bruins beat up the hapless Cougs. A good day — maybe I’ll win at poker tonight.

@Benedick, @IanJ, @flippin eck:

Yes, what? Are we doing Sport today?

I have nothing to offer. Perhaps you will thank me for that.