We’d Like to Thank You, Herbert Hoover

Do they really think anyone in that room wants anything less than to hike rates by 30% per quarter forever? You might as well visit the nazi party jamboree with applications to the Hillel.

No harmony? Meh…

A friend of mine from college about 10 years ago went on to law school with the goal of becoming a bankruptcy attorney. At the time, I thought that was a weird and depressing thing to do with your life.

She must be sobbing into her enormous bags of money every night now.

Tj/that used-to-be fat guy in the not-the-msnbc -ad is mocking me with his trim body and used- to-be-fat-pants! Fuck you, used-to-be-fat-guy with the used-to-be-fat-pants in the not-the-msnbc-ad!

I’m workin’ on it!

Thing is, there was a Yes Men prank against the Chamber of Commerce this week that everyone was saluting. I’m really surprised this one had to wait for Rachel to get some attention.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: I like our Not the MSNBC AD reports. They’ve tried to sell me a cargo plane (the C- 17?) and Louboutins. They’ve tried to convert me to Scientology and get me behind Toomey (hahahahaha!) who is running against Arlen Specter, assuming Sestak doesn’t clean Specter’s clock. The only thing that would make the experience complete is if I could get a couple Mormon missionaries to come visit. It’s Not the MSNBC AD, but it’s good.

I just have to TJ for Ida Maria, I am madly in love with this music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHFKspVnc7A&feature=related

Oh my god, I want to see her sing a Ramones song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owzjXEJJNDE&feature=related

How can The Onion be more Real than Real Life?

Nation’s Morons March On Washington State

OLYMPIA, WA—With random cries of “Enough is enough,” “Do something now,” and “Huh?” thousands of the nation’s biggest morons descended on Washington State this week, some 3,000 miles from their intended destination of the nation’s capital.

The march, which had no discernable goal or message, and no official organizers, began at approximately 8:45 a.m. in front of what the morons called the National Mall, but was actually the courtyard outside the Olympia Public Library.

“More government accountability, and transparency, and accountability!” shouted grade-A moron Tammy Caldwell, 37, addressing no one in particular. “On behalf of me, and all the [morons] who came here today, listen up, greedy Washington fat cats: We’re not going anywhere until each and every one of our voices is heard.”

“No Social Security for Medicare!” Michigan idiot Kevin Liston added. “Not in my backyard!”

Throughout the day, the number of protesters grew to include not just morons, but more than 6,000 nimrods, 3,500 dunderheads, and approximately 12,000 of the biggest fucking dipshits known to man.

@Original Andrew:

It’s the dunderheads we have to watch out for.

Okay, serious question, what should I drink? Vodka, and pure spring water? So as to keep the purity of essence of my bodily fluids pristine? Or another white wine spritzer, which I do feel has some serious cred, because Byron called for one, in the fragment at the beginning of Don Juan, “for god’s sake, bring me hock and soda water.” Or should I make a rare nightcap martini, with the Hendricks, the precious Hendricks, which is so expensive I rarely have any, but which Mrs. Prom bought for me last night because I was in deep despair?

Tell me stinquers, is it best to play it safe, or go for the gusto? Hock and soda water with Byron, or a martini with those doomed lost generation dudes, Fitzgerald and Hemingway and I will throw in faulkner?

@Promnight: Have a martini with Faulkner.

Martini, baby. I’m in okc until Tuesday staying with a friend who only has dialup (I know! Who knew that such beings existed?) so will only be able to access from iPhone — the horror!

@Promnight:
Fuck you Prom! You knew at the very begining you should go with the martini! Does carpe diem mean nothing to you?

Jesus! Where you people get your priorities I have yet to find out!

@JNOV: @Mistress Cynica: @Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: Okay, the martini it is. Carpe diem, indeed. But now, having encouraged me to this late night martini, you all must help me with my angst.

I think that the deep effect of the failure of my business venture is now hitting me hard. Tomorrow morning, I have to go and help the person who bought all the equipment pack it up and take it away, at a loss to me of $5,000.

I have never been so happy in my life as when I was in my deli, making and serving my food to people. But at the same time, it was hell, working full time at my job, and at the deli, 70 hours a week, all summer, and when we closed up, i was just so relieved.

I took an enormous risk, to try to make a living doing what I love so much, do so well, and it failed so utterly. Oh, its beyond belief, the money I lost.

I guess tonight is a crisis, tomorrow I have to help someone load up a trailer and take away the last vestige of my dream, and he paid a pittance, 20% of what I paid to acquire it.

@Promnight: You went for it. What’s wrong with that?

@Promnight:
oh, darling, do not be so much on the shade. Your best has to be good enough, on the final analysis. Don’t beat youself up..

It’s not over until you say it’s over. You’re down for now, but you can do it again. You learned.

Tanquray Ten is far superior to Hendricks, IMHO.

@Dodgerblue: @Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: Thanks. yes, in my heart I don’t regret it, not a bit. Its hard, though, to see it loaded on that truck, I guess.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: In the end, quality vs. price, there is no reason to ever buy anything but Gordons, plastic jug and all, blind taste it, you will see.

@Original Andrew:

This one is still the one that freaks me out from them. Published in January 2001, it pretty much exactly described what was going to happen. I remember thinking it was funny back when it came out, but not so much anymore…

The Moron March story is pretty funny, but it’s also much more clearly a response to the news, vs. the eerily accurate prediction of the linked piece.

We put up a newer version of the video that has the lyrics scroll along the bottom.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2QX9sMV5xI

@Promnight: The Beckett Existential Ambulance has arrived!

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

@Alex: I actually prefer the original cut — more delightful without the subtitles. But that’s personal taste.

But hearty congratulations on pulling it off. And now that I poke around, I realize I’ve seen your group’s fine work before. Soon as your site calms down from the post-Rachel rush, I’ll be paying a visit.

@Promnight: I am so sorry I will never get a chance to be a customer at your deli. Food service businesses are fucking tough. Mr. Pedo has worked at very high $$ restaurants for many years and he’s a good cook and so am I, and every time people tell us we should open something we just look at each other and say, “um, no thanks”.

But we would love to have a grocery/deli/gourmet store in our neighborhood, modeled on the one in the ‘hood where we take our dog to the park almost every day, so I know how tempting it is.

@Dodgerblue: Exactly. Prom, you chased a dream, which is more than most of us ever do.

@JNOV: I will put on a starched white shirt and skinny tie and ride a bicycle up to your door any time, just to have a chance to talk to you. And to ask you if you’ve had the chance to experience the empowering salvation of FSM.

@Alex: We need more performance art like that. Thank you.

@Pedonator: Add coffee & wifi, and I’ll make it the new Stinque Remote Office.

@nojo: Have to say I was very tempted to challenge you to a photo-blogging session at the teabaggers’ Express party on Sunday, but I thought about it hard and I just can’t make myself witness that.

Unless, of course, we’re willing to carry signs with slogans on them.

Hmmm…how to blend in? “Keep Govement out of Medicear”? “Dont Let the Soshalists Steel Our Cuntry”? “Obsama is a Negroni Notzi”?

I dunno, but if I can use it as an excuse to walk Mr. Pedo and the doggy along the Embarcadero it may be ok. Do you have a stockpile of glue and glitter?

@Pedonator: Well, now that I can reach the Billionaires site, they have some signs available.

Don’t Tread on My Profits appeals to me, given that the snake was the predominant symbol at the Ralphs event.

But if you wanna be there at (ugh) 11 a.m. Sunday, I can manage it. It being the first stop of the new tour, we might even get some news out of it.

@nojo: Wasn’t expecting you to call me on it, bro. How about I promise to check in tomorrow and see what the other Stinquers think about our diabolical plan to Rule the World!

Thing is, Sunday is the oneday Mr. Pedo and I have together and I’m not sure I want to sully it with pseudo-political shenanigans. He’d need some convincing.

@Promnight: Ped is right. Food is a pretty intolerable business unless you’re willing to give up your whole life. But your food was delicious and if you got out with house/home/marriage intact you did pretty damn well. Glad I got a chance to visit. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. I’m painting doors. Ugh.

@Benedick:

When will this terrible ALW curse end? Havn’t we suffered enough?

@Promnight:

you’ve “never been so happy in your life as when you were in your deli”
how is this a fail?
a word from my favorite philosopher:
“there is no try. there is do. or do not”
—yoda
you DID! and now you are NOT! NEXT!!!

i also have another word from my fridge. i did the unthinkable long ago and tore a page out of a long forgotten book, and see it everyday.

“even an hour in paradise is worthwhile”
—old yiddish proverb

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: Hey Catt, I see where Disney is refunding the purchase price of “Baby Einstein” videos after having been threatened by lawyers over advertising claims that the videos will make your baby smarter. There are so many joke opportunities here, I’m not sure which way to go.

@nojo: Please post the number to call for the Beckett Existential Ambulance. I may have already needed it.

OT also but important: Where’s Ewalda? Has anyone been in touch with Ewalda? Dare I hope that one of the newer commenters is Ewalda by another name? How is Ewalda?

@Promnight: Ida Marie is a wonderful creature, thanks for tipping me off. She reminds me of these guys more than Los Ramonos.

So sorry about the rubber band remorse from the deli, Prom. Wish I had been up last night to join in the guerilla After Dark session. You’ve made me a martini drinker, you see, I bought a shaker and everything, I really just want to hang out with you and RML and Tommcatt and the other cool folks, getting silly but erudite on Bombay or Hendricks or Gordon’s in a jug.

@lynnlightfoot: I wondered about Ewalda as well. I’ve heard about people posting under other identities before, yes it happens, we can hope that Ewalda is lurking, guerilla commenting, and perhaps will re-appear in these parts, much as Serolf was lured over here from Brand W after mysterious sightings on the site formerly known as CP. There’s a story in there somewhere…

@lynnlightfoot: I have a distinct impression the Ewalda is among us under a different moniker.

And funny you should ask, I was wondering the same about you yesterday as I hadn’t seen your name here in a while.

@lynnlightfoot: I think Ewalda is among us. But I’ve been wondering about you. I haven’t seen you in a while and was concerned that you were alright (note to Cyn: in Britspeak ‘alright’ is considered one word when used in the sense of alright. In US it is rendered ‘all right’. I blame Ben Franklin). Good to see you here, however fleetingly.

P.S. I tried to post this earlier but nojo has been blocking my posts. It seems he didn’t react well to my late-lamented ALW pic-thingy.

@Dodgerblue:

I’m not supposed to comment on it…after all, I am part of the team that markets Baby Einstein. I think it is pretty old news, though…

@Pedonator: Right on. Bring a friend.

As a former orphan in two nat’l touring companies of Annie, I wholeheartedly approve this message.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: I did not mean to offend. The NYT had a piece on the issue today.

@The Nabisco Quiver are Go!: You right there, the Minutemen, but the thing that gets me, she is so punk, but I don’t think she is trying to be or even has much punk influence, which means its real.

@Benedick: Glad to hear you believe Ewalda is among us. I’m touched that you were concerned about me. I am alright. I’ve been busy finishing an editing job for which I was paid in advance three years ago. That’s over now, thank God, and I am luxuriating in being not busy. A few minutes ago I found your explanation about spanking your car. Best laugh I’ve had in a while. Many thanks!

@Benedick: I suppose if I went away, Ewalda might come back, he seemed to come to hate me, and I was and am sad about that, I liked him, and I would be more of an asshole than I already am if I did not care, when people whom I like, develop such an antipathy. Yes, I am so freindless in the world, that it truly pains me to have caused friction, to have caused animosity, and regardless of what a shit I might be, its a sign of respect that I regret and I am saddened by the opinion of Ewalda. Oh fucking well, same old same old. I have a talent for alienting one and all.

@lynnlightfoot: Hey there, happy birthday. I have a theory w/r/t the missing comrade, I can send you an update on FB.

@Promnight: It’s not always about you, Prommie. And I’m saying that in the most loving way.