Red State: Consistency Is Not Their Forte.

/PSA: Rapture Watch! The date has now been changed to October 21, 2009, uh, since we’re all still here, natch.

@JNOV: Morning or evening? I have a seminar to attend that day.

@Dodgerblue: Haha! I think they go by whatever timezone Israel is in. Don’t worry — you’re not going anywhere. Chosen People get to suffer before they convert.

@JNOV: That is a good question. I’ve read a lot about the rapture and I can’t remember ever having seen it addressed. You may be right about Israel. But isn’t that a bit UN-ey for our raptard crowd? A bit too Peace Prize-ish? I would have thought they reckoned time on Toledo, OH. Or Colorado.

@JNOV: So our London trip is off, but I get to see the Jets play Buffalo. Thanks for the planning tip.

@JNOV:

That site hurts my brain!

@All: Just so you know, I actually read that ransom-note site (I mean all of it, but I skipped the videos) in September. I was mesmerized. IIRC, they do go by Israel time, BUT they leave themselves some wiggle room by allowing for the time the sun sets somewhere for the last time of the day, or some such.

Once the Xanax has kicked in, and I’m no longer concerned about the epileptic seizure the colors and fonts might induce, I’ll prepare my report for you so you can plan appropriately.

Sadly, I will be one of those swept up into teh friendly skies as I was raised a Calvinist, and I cannot lose my salvation. I tried selling my soul to a friend to try to unredeem myself (my soul = a pack of Marlboros), but it looks like I’m righteously fucked no matter what I do.

@JNOV: I’d rather stay here to watch the World Series anyway.

@Dodgerblue: But more than half the players will be raptured away…

@JNOV: Calvinism is no guarantee. Thats a whole nother depth of fundie. Calvinists do not do Rapture. They do predestination.

@Benedick: Yes, predestination has been interpreted by certain fundies to mean that you can’t lose your salvation, cuz you’re predestined. See how that works!?

@JNOV: But if we were playing poker… Calvinism predates Rapture. By coupla hundred years. So. Calvin’s pre-destinationism (the single nastiest pseudo-Christian cult ever) is trumped by Rapturism. Calvinists burn in hell sukaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhssss!!!!!!!!!!

@Benedick: Yay!

@JNOV: Nice shoes.

@SanFranLefty: Thanks! The Not the MSNBC AD had them up! Now it’s trying to sell me a military cargo plane…

@JNOV: Plane, not so much but… awesome shoos.

@Benedick: @JNOV: I’ve been reading Have a Nice Doomsday by Nicolas Guyatt ($10.88 when you use the Amazon kickback Stinque Linque!), and one of the most striking things about a majority of the end times theories is that the U.S. is not in any way a major player. Most scenarios post-rapture involve some triangulation of invasions and wars between Isreal, Iran, and Russia. So, if you will–
Amerika:God’s tribulation plan::Chicago:IOC

Also! Born and bred Calvinist here. The predestination stuff didn’t take, thank Jeebus, but I credit its depravity of all humankind themes for instilling cynicism in me quite early.

@flippin eck: I haven’t read a proper book in ages. I need to. I made it a few pages into The Winter… and fizzled out. I did like the dedication, though.

@Benedick: Yeah! I hear they hurt like hell, though. That boggled my mind. How could a $1K pair of shoes be painful? That’s just wrong.

@JNOV: I don’t know about the new platform thingies, but the old school Manolo stilettos really were pretty comfortable for something with a 3″ heel. You can definitely tell the difference between a cheap and expensive high heel. Cheap ones hurt a lot more. Has to do with construction and balance. Of course, I never had a pair of Louboutins–only Manolo and Choo. I always coveted the red soles.