America Concludes: Lou Dobbs Oozed Out of a Nazi Propagandist’s Syphilitic Rectum

Insane white supremacist and seventeenth-ranked cable TV fucktard Lou Dobbs is fast becoming one of the most hated and irrelevant assholes in the mediasphere, increasingly grasping at tactics handled with greater expertise by full-bore psychopaths like failed obscene phone caller and hatecaster Bill O’Reilly and unmedicated Mormon schizophrenic and dry drunk suicide candidate Glenn Beck.

For the lunatic Dobbs, there isn’t one story that can’t be mapped back to illegal immigration, Dobbs’ uber leitmotif which he replays on most every broadcast. Illegals are running wild through the streets and our back gardens, spreading leprosy and breeding wantonly, threatening to outbreed white people and finally slaughter them to feed them to their teeming, ravenous progeny.

Dobbs, ever the enterprising news man, noticed that there was an election last year and that there was a new guy in the White House. Dobbs even noticed the new president, Barack Obama, was somewhat darker than he. Dobbs, without further contemplation concluded, of course, that Obama was a leprous illegal immigrant.

Dobbs immediately began running stories about the birther movement, the cackling mobs of skinheads, crystal meth addicts and neomedievalists which were howling for the impeachment and execution of President Obama, who they believe is a Kenyan sleeper agent planted in the US in 1961 to lay waste to the Republic. Dobbs was always careful to point out their beliefs were newsworthy in and of themselves.

This innovative approach to news gathering fascinated Stinque.com and, ever ready to emulate the trailblazers like Dobbs, organized its own Lou Dobbs’ natal survey, asking faithful readers and commentators, “Where Was Lou Dobbs Really Born?” The answers [see: chart, below] we received were provocative, most tellingly, however, was the assertion by most of our respondents – some 36 percent – that Lou Dobbs emerged in spontaneous parthenogenesis from the bowels of savage anti-semite and genocidist Julius Streicher, publisher of the Nazi propaganda newspaper, Der Stürmer.

The timing of Lou Dobbs’ alleged birth and Streicher’s death are, indeed, telling. Streicher was hung in Nuremberg on October 16, 1946, mere months after Lou Dobbs’ professed birth date, an interval in which a parthogenically spawned offspring could quicken to viability outside ot its host. Dobbs’ claimed “birth” day is September 24, 1945. As yet, no one has come forward claiming to have witnessed Dobbs’ “birth.”