What hath he wrought? A bunch of line-item-veto cuts, including:

• An additional $6.2 million cut from state parks, which will likely cause as many as 50 more parks to be closed (potentially 1/3 of parks – 100 total – will now have to close)

• Elimination of state funding for community health clinic programs

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Who could have predicted that the GOP’s go to think tank on health care reform is run by a big insurance company …

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We really didn’t want to get involved with the Skip Gates mess because, well, it wasn’t a mess. In fact, if you set your Crayolas aside, it’s very straightforward: neighbor suspects guy of breaking into his own house, calls the police, who visit the guy, who gets somewhat pissed that he’s suspected of breaking into his own house, so the police haul him in for talking back at them on his own porch.

Even wingnuts should understand that one. Heck, place it in Texas, and they’d be ranting about the government harassing godfearing homeowners, and blaming President Mombasa for not doing anything about it.

But it does involve Crayolas, and it happened in Commiebridge, Massachusetts, and the Reality Inversion that is 2009 continues apace.

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Okay, let’s clear this up:

The nation’s wild horses would be protected from slaughter and given millions more acres to roam under legislation moving toward passage today [Friday] in the House of Representatives.

Supporters of the bill mobilized after the Interior Department announced last year that it may have to kill thousands of healthy wild horses and burros to cull the herds and prevent overgrazing.

It’s called the “Restore Our American Mustangs act” (insert Ford joke here), and the CBO estimates the price at $200 million over five years, plus another $500 million to buy 20 million acres of land after 2013. The AP story estimates 36,000 wild horses and burros are affected.

So: Whether to spend that kind of money on that purpose is an honest question. But where do the pony rubbers come in?

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Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX):

During the 30-minute interview about “nation ending stuff,” Gohmert used his opportunity on the [Alex] Jones show to showcase his own odd anti-Obama conspiracy theories:

GOHMERT: We’ve been battling this socialist health care, the nationalization of health care, that is going to absolutely kill senior citizens. They’ll put them on lists and force them to die early because they won’t get the treatment as early as they need. [...] I would rather stop this socialization of health care because once the government pays for your health care, they have every right to tell you what you eat, what you drink, how you exercise, where you live.[...] But if we’re going to pay 700 million dollars like we voted last Friday to put condoms on wild horses, and I know it just says an un-permanent enhanced contraception whatever the heck that is. I guess it follows that they’re eventually get around to doing it to us.

The Kenyan Muslim with no birth certificate is going to kill old white people.

Gohmert Trades Ideas With Conspiracy Theorist [ThinkProgress]

You realize that this will only get worse:

And first, some straight talk for some, just some in the media because another right protected for all of us is freedom of the press, and you all have such important jobs reporting facts and informing the electorate, and exerting power to influence. You represent what could and should be a respected honest profession that could and should be the cornerstone of our democracy. Democracy depends on you, and that is why, that’s why our troops are willing to die for you. So, how ’bout in honor of the American soldier, ya quite makin’ things up. And don’t underestimate the wisdom of the people, and one other thing for the media, our new governor has a very nice family too, so leave his kids alone.

Fuck. Me. Running.

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First, an Apology to Our Readers: the post that follows does no justice whatsoever to the most brilliant headline we’ve written all year. But we had the post first, and we don’t have time to go back and pull an Area Man out of our ass. It’s not like we get paid for this.

So, while you’re imagining a hiliarious fantasy post* involving WorldNetDaily’s discovery of a notarized placenta in the possession of Barack Obama’s step-grandmother in Kenya, let’s move on to the mundane subject that triggered our awesome inspiration: the afterlife of the Birther Meme.

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