Stinque Presents a Fourth of July Tribute to Self-Destructing Republicans

Ah, this video brings memories of my youth: those glorious days of summer, playing “bottle rocket wars” with my cousins in South Carolina (where practically all fireworks are legal, though not necessarily safe and definitely not rare). There’s an art to lighting the bottle rocket, then tossing it up in the air such that the powder lights just as the heavy end has lowered to the perfect angle to dart at the opposing side’s “encampment” and burst at your enemy’s feet (or better yet, perilously close to his head). Lets face it, it’s a miracle we’ve all got our sight, or hearing and ten fingers and toes. I do recall one incident, however, when my eldest cousin decided to hold the Roman Candle in his hands as it shot its fireballs. The last fireball shot backward out the bottom of the firework and hit him in the groin. This was followed by a rushed trip to the hospital where it was verified that all of his man-parts were still in place and intact. Don’t recall if that’s the same summer we set the woods on fire with a larger rocket that veered off course. I still remember rushing to the flames with buckets of water and noticing, with fascination, that the fire had started from about a dozen separate locations in a neat ring pattern. Thankfully we got the flames doused before setting a full scale forest fire.

Ah those heady days of Summer.

Hilarious. I particularly liked the group lined up to watch totally gay sparkly item being set off in the next state over.

The moral to be drawn is never hold exploding fireworks if you are made of styrofoam and have no moving parts.

@Serolf Divad: Oh please. Check out Guy Fawkes night. The whole point of which is to fire off as many fireworks as dangerously as possible.

Happy B-Day US America.

@Serolf Divad:
I lived in rural Canada and had friends who fought BB gun wars and lived by the principle “It’s all Fun and Games till someone loses an eye.”

I never played because my parents thought it was unwise for me to have a BB gun. I didn’t think so at the time…

Todd and Sarah (aka Jack and Diane) CORRECTED

Little ditty about Todd and Sarah
Two Alaskan kids growin up in the frozen Tundra
Todd’s gonna be a top notch grifter
Sarah got knocked up in the backseat of Todd’s car

Sittin in the mayor’s office away from the deep freeze
Sarah sittin on Todd’s lap
Hes got his hands between her knees
Ole Todd say, hey Sarah lets go build
Our dream house with “skimmed” materials
From our pals building the sports ‘plex
Let them do what we please
And Sarah say a

Chorus:
Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of grifting is gone
Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of grifting is gone they (perp) walk on

Todd just sits back reflects his “thoughts” for a moment
Scratches his head and does his best John McCain
Well you know Sarah we oughtta scam the whole country
Sarah says, baby we’ll just take everything
Sarah say a

Chorus:
Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of grifting is gone
Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of grifting is gone they (perp) walk on

Gonna let it rock
Let it roll
Let Schadenfreud come down
And save ours souls
Should have held on to Wassila as long as you can
Changes comin round real soon
Make them convicts and perps

Little ditty about Todd and Sarah
Two Alaskan kids stealin the best they can

@ManchuCandidate:

I think the second line should read:

Two Alaskan kids growin up in the frozen tundra.

@Serolf Divad:
Damn, you’re right. In my haste I forgot to add anything…

Corrected.

My childhood friends and I set of countless m80s – we still have all our limbs and perfect (in some cases corrected) eyesight. Darwin Awards to those who can’t follow the package directions.

@blogenfreude: And all of this hysteria in a country in which folks pack heat at church.

A quick morning check of my usual news blogs.

Sarah Palin indictment?

Crickets…
Even Brand W.

Do I feel like Alex Jones today or what?

What amuses me is reading from some pundits (including orange skinned Lou Dobbs) squawking about how Sarah Palin will return blah blah blah blah and the “brilliance” of it all blah blah blah. Hard to return to run for Prez when you’re going to be in jail for the 2012 election. Lots of these “hexperts” are going to look pretty stupid(er.)

And what, may I ask, are you people awake for? I am at work – the wheels of justice grind even on federal holidays. You, on the other hand, could be logging some serious sack time.

@blogenfreude:
I usually roll out of bed at 7:30ish. No late nights for me these days. Ate breakfast and gonna head for the gym (first time in 3 weeks, sigh) in about an hour.

@blogenfreude: I’m at work. As evidence I present my postings here.

@blogenfreude: I’m in France. Ha!

I think the indoor M-1000 footage can be used for the “Don’t have a meth lab in your home” video, too.

@ManchuCandidate: Gawker isn’t even bothering to phone it in.

@RomeGirl: Rub it in …

@blogenfreude: At least you’re not listening to the next door neighbor be on the brink of (fake) orgasm for the last 45 minutes. She’s gonna hyperventilate if he doesn’t come soon.

@blogenfreude: Cherry bombs. When I was a lad, you could get all the explosives you wanted in Tijuana. Plus switchblades.

TJ/ JESUSFUCKINGCHRIST! Did anyone else wake up to the volunteer fire dept drive all their engines, ambulances and WTF down the street at 9 am at 0.25 MPH to say hello and happy 4th blaring their sirens and horns NONSTOP and woke me up thinking my house was burning down this morning? FUCK!

@blogenfreude: I’m on my way to work! Huzzah. With a headache now. Bastads.

@JNOV sing sin: That’s just evil. Even my little town knows to start the 7/4 parade at 11am.

1. Baby dolls are dumb

2. Mannequins are even dumber.

3. That fake BBQ was the dumbest.

And

They blew up good! Yah! Real Good!

@Benedick:
EVERYone is packing here! besides the ever present soldiers carrying the scariest fucking assault rifles you’ve ever seen, but others, anyone can carry an unconcealed weapon, with a license.
like florida, or deadwood.

also, i am not gleeful talibunny is toast. she was comedy gold people!!

@JNOV sing sin: No work for me today. I’m going hiking with my dog Sophie, who is not a quitter.

@JNOV sing sin: I did receive the serenade of either fireworks or gunfire, or both, last night before bed. I can’t tell in my neighborhood most of the time.

Why is law so cruel that it makes you work on your glorious day of US American independence?

@JNOV sing sin:
In my book that is grounds for justifiable homicide.

Worst camping trip I ever had started off when my tentmate woke up our group at 7am (we got to bed at 1:30am in large part because of same person.) Instead of physically attacking my tentmate, I went all passive aggressive and didn’t lift a goddamned finger to help him during the rest of the trip.

@All: Indeed!

Hey — is the 1st Sat of the month a Jam day? I have an appropriate picture (for a change).

@ManchuCandidate: Deadline + OT pay + lunch and dinner paid for + taxi ride home = I need the money anyway.

JNOV sing sin: HOO-EE! Blowed up real good!

@blogenfreude: I shot 150 rounds at the range before breakfast or even my second cup of coffee today (.22s, .38s, 9mm*). I didn’t have any ammo made up for my WWII M1903A3 “Springfield”, which I pull out for patriotic holidays. Maybe tomorrow. I would normally be fishing the morning of July 4, but we had a lot of plans change with kid’s friends, family, etc. Anyway, I’m listening to some Metallica, etc. on the Sirius Liquid Metal channel as I start work on hanging another interior door.

@ManchuCandidate: Yeah. That a411 or whatever site that has the indictment rumor looks pretty shady, also. I’ll have a range report later on my new Gamo .177 CO2 air pistol.

@blogenfreude, dodger, benedick: Got a shit load of fireworks, including some bottle rockets from the handy dandy reservation fireworks stand ( no state jurisdiction there ). Smoke bombs for this afternoon.

*I’m sure there’s a few guys and gals over there rocking the Glock 19, which is my 9 mm of choice.

@RomeGirl: If she is going to come in French I would quite enjoy listening.