BREAKING …

Why would the greatest leader evah in the history of time and the bible resign?

Is it because she also slept with Mark Sanford?

??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????

@ManchuCandidate:

Somehow, it’s Obama’s fault.

Any recent flights to Argentina?

Whut?

Doesn’t this show her to be completely incompetent?

I mean.

Whut?

Better check her travel records…

@nojo:
Are you hinting some Argie/Talibunny/Sanford threesomes?

I think this would be something out of Nailin’ Palin, TOO, er, II.

@Benedick: FTW.

That is one helluva Friday news dump–and on a holiday weekend.
@ManchuCandidate: With any luck, she’ll be devoting herself full time to running for Prez in 2012. Late night comedy writers everywhere break out the champagne. Thank you, Santa!!

Remember the arson attack at her home town church? Maybe an oily fingerprint turned up.

@Benedick: Her opponents — her Republican opponents — will certainly brand her a Quitter. It’ll be amusing to see how she and her flock spin it.

Starting with Kristol.

This might even push some of the MJ coverage out of the way … DAMN this is shaping up to be a good weekend!

@Mistress Cynica:
Happy B-Day US America?

Seriously, how is this going to help her 2012 run? She’s not exactly got a exemplary track record, nor is she a decent public speaker or has a spark of a serious intellect. Unless she’s doing the Barry Obama way, I don’t really see it. People who fail upwards like her don’t just quit without a serious reason.

My guess is that there is a really big stinker (budget?) she’s leaving behind for Alaska and it’s about to come to the surface so she’s trying to flee before the angry mob.

@nojo: I feel a song coming on.

I WANT DETAILS! Sex scandal? It was rumored she was having an affair w/ the first dude’s business partner. Proof Trig isn’t hers? If only …. Graft? Corruption? I can’t leave the office until 8:30 … I will go mad.

Could be a scandal so super-massive that the implosion will cause a wingularity from which none of us will escape.

Atrios said that there was already a speech? Anyone out there w/ TV?

Comment at TeamSarah…

Todd told FOX she’s resigning to do things “for Alaska and the country” that she cannot do as governor

But they’re still trying to make sense of it. No consensus yet, but “protecting her family” has the early lead.

******From the Emergency Broadcast System******

Residents of AK, BC, WA and OR advised to brace for impact… duck and cover… kiss asses goodbye… (beeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!)

@blogenfreude: Just tuned into MSNBC, which is interrupting its non-stop MJ coverage.

Resigning July 26. Heads chattering right now, we’ll see whether they replay the speech.

Oh please oh please oh please let it involve a gallon of J-lube and a mule!!! God, I’ll give up Anything but ass and grass…

Still no details, but let’s note that the Vanity Fair article is still on the table. Congratulations to VF editor — and Spy cofounder — Graydon Carter.

@nojo: Just in time for my birfday.

I’m guessing that she’s sick of being stuck in Alaska. How are you gonna keep ’em down on the farm after they’ve seen DC?

@Tommmcatt Floats: What if she is fucking her pastor, or something along those lines?

Friend messages – “my administration’s accomplishments speak for themselves …” jabs at Obama, stimulus is “immoral” ….

Partial quote from announcement:

“We know we can affect positive change outside government at this moment in time on another scale and actually make a difference,” she said, adding that politics had become a “superficial, wasteful bloodsport.”

She sounds frightened ….

@nojo: Doesn’t she mean ‘effect’ change? Dolt.

Supposedly in the works for weeks, but lieutenant governor only told of resignation on Wednesday.

@Benedick: Not sure that was a written statement, so maybe blame the reporter.

Someone has TV here – she is out of breath, unhinged … holy fuck.

But How will Alaska survive?

And the feed was just cut.

Barely contained rage. Somebody must have something BIG.

@nojo:
That article was a head scratcher. Lots of hate for the Talibunny among “professional” political aides on the Repub side.

Sums up what a lot of us knew already.

Oh, and let me thank all of you for being here for me today. It takes Palin resigning to get you over here? What am I – chopped liver? I’m stuck at work when I could be out prancing through Central Park …

@blogenfreude:
Like I said, this feels like she’s getting the fuck out before the peasants find out.

My guesses:
1) AK budget is utterly fucked. Massive deficit
2) My neighbours in Alberta (TransCan Pipeline) got caught sending her cash to throw the gas pipeline there way.
3) Sexy time sex scandal involving the entire Alaska National Guard.

Just added video from CNN at the top. I’ll update it with a longer clip when available.

Drudge doesn’t even make a siren huge enough for this.

It’s like a nookular bomb on Jew York and a war on Irania happened at once.

@ManchuCandidate: Someone somewhere was mentioning yesterday that she’s acting like a governor who plans to dump the state’s problems on her successor.

Andrea Mitchell reporting that Palin told supporters she’s quitting politics, period.

@blogenfreude: There’s always a part of you prancing about the park.

I think we need a poll on whether it’s sex, money, etc. etc. My bet is serious corruption.

It will knock some now meaningless national holiday off the front pages tomorrow.

@Benedick: Notice I said “prancing”, not “mincing” … which would be worse, I think.

@Original Andrew: This will kill off, what, twenty percent of the Michael Jackson coverage? WIN WIN.

@nojo: Maybe she’ll go out in a tour of Call Me Madam as a way of rehabilitating her ‘image’.

@Original Andrew: But what about the teabaggers?

@blogenfreude: “Prancing” suggests to me a certain open-hearted joie de vivre whereas “mincing” makes me think of casting director’s assistants pretending not to know who you are.

It’s a funny thing but just an hour ago I was sitting here thinking it must be all of two or three days since the last Republican fiasco and wasn’t it about time for a new one and BOOM!

Ask and ye shall receive.

@nojo:
One would hope so.

I’m thinking that she’s probably wanted to go back in time to Sept and tell McCainiac, NO.

Let this be a lesson kids. When the ambition and the ability just don’t line up then JUST SAY NO.

Wow, so all along she really has been listening to those who’ve been demanding that she resign.

Her problem is–and always has been–that she cares too much!

@Benedick:
If you had that power then can you wonder why any of us haven’t won the lottery yet? Hint hint…

@Benedick: or Sweet Charity.

Swapped partial CNN clip at top with a full MSNBC clip. At least, that’s what they say it is.

@Benedick: That’s how I see it.

Listening now – got to the “point guard” part and lost it.

@ManchuCandidate:

I’ll be heading next door to 7/11 for a very important purchase right now.

@Benedick: Four words for you. Tommmcatt. Korean twins. Threesome.

@Original Andrew:
She’s opted to go for the martyr cloak. Better than to accept responsibility for making this mess herself.

This almost feels like the BritBrit fiasco when one couldn’t escape the latest insanity from the inanity.

At this point, one wonders if she’s going to shave her head at some point and some fundie goes on Youtube shrieking/crying/going hysterical, “LEAVE HER ALONE!!! LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!!”

MSNBC announces all-day coverage of MJ funeral Tuesday.

@Benedick: It’s almost enough to make me believe in a benevolent supreme being.
Maybe the Palins will get their own reality show!!

$7 million book deal still on, apparently. Sanford’s new book was canceled.

The reason she went into politics is that she is a terrible actress. She didn’t want to do this. The FBI has been in Alaska for years following all manner of scandal and it may be she had the interview in which she has been informed she is a target, too.

Let’s check the Talibunny Twitter:

We’ll soon attach info on decision to not seek re-election… this is in Alaska’s best interest, my family’s happy… it is good, stay tuned

@Mistress Cynica:
Be like that awful show starring Jessica Simpson and Nick somethingerother?

“Why do they call it Chicken of the Sea?”

TPM reporting on her earlier Twitter:

4:20 PM … Hmmm. Even better. This is Gov. Palin’s ‘announcement’, such as it is, on Twitter …
We’ll soon attach info on decision to not seek re-election… this is in Alaska’s best interest, my family’s happy… it is good, stay tuned
She apparently didn’t realize she was resigning yet. Stuff obviously moving pretty quickly …

Someone’s probably boarding the jet for a country without an extradition treaty right about now.

Sweet FSM, where’s Lefty, Jamie & JNOV?

I can’t believe they’re missing this.

@Mistress Cynica: I think a show on Fox is stage one.

But really. WTF? She doesn’t want to be a lame duck so let him be it instead. And Sport? Passing balls? As if. And a role outside government? Fox is calling and she needs to be fitted for a new wardrobe.

@Tommmcatt Floats: Don’t sprain anything.

Official press release:

GOVERNOR PALIN ANNOUNCES NO SECOND TERM
NO LAME DUCK SESSION EITHER

July 3, 2009, Anchorage, Alaska – Governor Sarah Palin announced today that she will not seek a second term as Governor of the State of Alaska and will relegate the power of governor to Lieutenant Governor Sean Parnell in order to serve Alaska’s best interests. Lieutenant General Craig Campbell will move into Parnell’s current role.

“People who know me know that besides faith and family, nothing’s more important to me than our beloved Alaska,” said Governor Palin. “Serving her people is the greatest honor I could imagine.”

Standing outside her home in Wasilla, Alaska, Governor Palin reflected upon some of the administration’s accomplishments for Alaska as she approaches her final year in office.

“I am determined to take the right path for Alaska even though it is not the easiest path,” said Governor Palin after the announcement. “Once I decided not to run for re-election, I also felt that to embrace the conventional ‘Lame Duck’ status in this particular climate would just be another dose of ‘politics as usual,’ something I campaigned against and will always oppose. It is my duty to always protect our great state. With that in mind, my family and I determined that it is best to make a difference this summer, and I am willing to change things, so that this administration, with its positive agenda, its accomplishments, and its successful road to an incredible future, can continue without interruption and with great administrative and legislative success. I look forward to helping others – to fight for our state and our country, and campaign for those who believe in smaller government, free enterprise, strong national security, support for our troops, and energy independence.”

The transfer of power will occur following the Governor’s picnic in Fairbanks on July 26. At that point in time, Lieutenant Governor Sean Parnell will be sworn in and Lieutenant General Craig Campbell will assume his role as Lieutenant Governor.

Governor Palin will spend July 4th in Juneau.

Sarah Palin’s national career: August 29, 2008 – July 3, 2009

Damn. We’ve grown accustomed to her farce.

So, if she doesn’t want to be a wasteful Lame Duck, what does that make her successor?

@nojo:
Hercules being forced to clean the Augean Stables.

@Benedick: My thoughts exactly.

The entire speech. I won’t have time to read it until the TV chatterers get tired.

@Benedick: don’t tell my husband.

@Tommmcatt Floats: Your secret’s safe with me.

I go away now.

Shuster on MSNBC asks WH correspondent whether anybody has “quit”, then returned to national stage. WH correspondent draws a blank.

Nobody remembers Nixon?

(Granted the differing details, but still — he was out.)

Am I a bad person for praying to a non-existent higher power that it’s a horse-fucking scandal?

Hmm, probably!

@Tommmcatt Floats: I’ll take the Korean twins. Female, dontcha know.

@nojo: There is to be a memorial service type of thing at the L.A. Staples Center on Tuesday (where the Lakers play) with extra big honkin’ TV screens outside for the overflow crazies. This will be Christmas, Hanukah and Super Bowl Sunday for the local street vendors.

@nojo: Judy Garland before A Star is Born.

@Original Andrew: Two words: assless chaps. I am so disappointed that the Sanford matter did not involve these (as far as we know). But I’m keeping hope alive!

MSNBC playing the speech right now — utterly bewildering.

Again: How does Palin resigning save Alaska dollars, since the office still survives her? If she’s worried about wasteful business trips, why not just cancel them?

After ten months, Sarah Palin finally speaks the truth: “I’m doing what’s best for Alaska.”

Here’s how I see it. The Repubs just lost the presidency to a Black community organizer and lost filibuster power in the Senate to a Jewish comedian who compared Rush Limbaugh, in writing, to 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag. These events are so shocking that their lifelong struggle to ignore the reality of their hate, lust and greed has come to a shattering end and their disgusting base behavior is now unchained. One can only hope for more.

@Tommmcatt Floats: Palin’s getting her face into Korean Poon Tang? Where’d you hear this? Or can you tell just by sniffing her face? How’d you get that close?

Jesus H. Christ, I leave the house for a few hours and what the fuck happens?!

I just watched the video with a couple of friends. She was so completely incoherent – gasping for air and saying random words out loud. One of my friends summed it up perfectly: “I feel like one of us is high – her or me.” We agreed that listening to that speech was like being high and going to class and trying to pay attention.

Oh, and Jamie isn’t here right now to join me in the outfit commentary, but Cynica, am I right that she was wearing red pumps with that outfit? And what was up with the ducks honking and swimming around in the background.

My money is on corruption scandal from all the ethics complaints. There must be some sort of smoking gun in her emails that she’s spent 2 million fighting to not turn over to the FBI investigation.

Bingo. She has had The Interview. My sense when the McCain campaign selected her was that something would blow up during the election run up because there were simply so many investigations going on in Alaska at the time by the FBI. The bureau works at its own stately pace, however, and it may be they’ve only recently gotten around to sitting her down, laying out the case, letting her know she is a target and getting her side of the story, if she would be willing to talk.

@SanFranLefty: There must be some sort of smoking gun in her emails that she’s spent 2 million fighting to not turn over to the FBI investigation.

@SanFranLefty: How is Mayor McDreamy doing? Any more random loads on his front step?

@FlyingChainSaw: Not sure I agree. Given how badly the U.S. Atty’s office screwed up the Sen. McTubes case, she may think that they can’t touch her.

@Dodgerblue: Yeah, but the US Atty’s Office fucked up Uncle Ted’s prosecution in spite of the FBI.

@Dodgerblue: He’s on the cover of Sunday’s NYT Magazine. I don’t think that helps him.

Oh, and my local fishwrap is linking to Gawker’s coverage of the Palin resignation. Hearst Corp. needs to just kill the Chronicle already, if they’re not willing to revamp and accept less than 15% annual profit.

@SanFranLefty: Hey, I just heard that Rev. Al Sharpton is preaching at a memorial service for Jacko at the First AME Church in L.A. next week. Want to fly down for it?

@Dodgerblue: I’d rather repeatedly jab a sharp stick in my eye, as fun as it might be to attend with the LA Stinquers.

I am reminded of my favorite line from The Jabberwocky:

“Oh frabjous day, calooh, callay, he chortled in his joy”

@homofascist: Hey honey! It’s like Thomas Jefferson and John Adams are sending us a little present for the holiday!

I just watched the replay on MSNBC and she was wearing open-toed red sling-back stilettos – for walking across the grass lawn covered with duck and goose shit. Your thoughts, HF?

Full text of her incoherent speech. What drugs was she on?

@SanFranLefty: Fear?

@SanFranLefty: OK, I was studying the tiny video on my computer screen trying to determine if they were strappy sandals or just open-toed–neither a good choice in the vicinity of bird excrement. I note the little Palin shaking something off her flip-flop.

Ed Rollins: “Republicans aren’t quitters.” Oh yeah?

Good god. I just wanted to go up and slap her and give her a swig of whiskey or something. Even for her, that is some hysterical babbling. Oh, and lawns always require wedges or espadrilles–unless your goal is to aerate the lawn on the cheap.

@Dodgerblue: From her speech:

Life is too short to compromise time and resources… it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: “Sit down and shut up”, but that’s the worthless, easy path; that’s a quitter’s way out.

Winners quit. Only losers keep chugging along doing their job.

@flippin eck: Yes, thank you! It’s like she’s never been to an outdoor wedding!

@Dodgerblue: If it’s straight ahead accounting fraud, favors-for-contracts fraud, the FBI can put together a cogent case and a defensible forensic narrative. Whether the AG will overplay their hand or corruptly prosecute the case is another matter. My sense is that Palin surrounded herself who were so emotionally committed to her that none of them had the capacity to grab her and push back when she was doing something with criminal liabilities and she was by all accounts possessed of a dictatorial sense of entitlement. Her courtiers were also apparently stupid fucking hillbillies with no sense of the ethical and legal framework a sitting governor inhabits, it was clear from seeing all the shit she’d get herself into for this kind of naivete just by glancing at the Anchorage paper.

MSNBC’s replaying all 18 minutes at 7:30 ET. Just enough time to nuke some popcorn.

@SanFranLefty: Winners quit at halftime.

@FlyingChainSaw: In the admittedly very small number of federal criminal cases I’ve been involved in, the FBI has delivered the case to the U.S. Attorney’s office all wrapped up with a bow around it. I think SFL is right that the US Atty screwed up the Ted Stevens case, not the FBI. You have to wonder what these guys were thinking.

@blogenfreude: She could argue she was guiding him back to christ the only way a woman can, giving him, you know, the Good News. Better if it were Track or Bristol’s guy or a huge native Alaskan bull dyke with no teeth.

@Dodgerblue: The Stevens case got fucked up due to the prosecutors’ repeated Brady violations. From what I read, the FBI agents on that case were begging the AUSAs to hand over evidence to Uncle Ted’s attorneys.

Unfortunately, if this is a federal corruption investigation, the GOP meme will be “po widdle Sawah, pwosecuted by the jackbooted thugs of that meanie Mooslem Barack Hussein Obama.” That’s the beauty of the GOP sex-related corruption cases – harder to blame the Dems.

Has anyone had the stomach yet to tune in to Faux News to see how they’re spinning this?

@SanFranLefty: MSNBC: “Disaster.”

@SanFranLefty: Not I. Even in glee, I can’t deal with Fox unfiltered.