Rush, please, just fucking die.

Neonazi hatecaster Rush Limbaugh is so fat he uses the Chrysler Building in New York City for a rectal dildo.

Limbaugh is so fat he has to send search and rescue teams to locate his dick when he has to take a piss.

Fuckface Limbaugh is so fat that when he sits around the house, he really sits around the house.

Drug-freak Limbaugh is so fat that the Big and Tall shops have banned him and can only wear custom-tailored parachutes.

Thrice-divorced psychopath Limbaugh is so fat the only way he can have sex is to bend over a dumpster while Punkin cat grinds the gears on a Greyhound bus and drives it in and out of his asshole.

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Earlier this week we stumbled across an interview with Nick Denton, proprietor of Gawker, a website we used to frequent back when it was interesting. That interview is now sealed behind paid access, but happily Google still has it in the cache:

If a good exclusive used to provide 10 times the traffic of a standard regurgitated blog post, now it garners a hundred times as much…

We’ve hired John Cook — formerly of Radar magazine and the Chicago Tribune — to Gawker.

And sure enough, John Cook’s byline appears on “Mancow’s ‘Waterboarding’ Was Completely Fake,” a Friday exclusive that tallied 34,776 views when we checked last night, almost three times as many as Mommy 1.0’s crossposted Jezebel piece regurgitating GQ’s Levi Johnston feature.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TiJNewpCnY

Instructions in male grooming from SNL Gillette, which shows the proper way to clear the weeds around your sapling brush from your towering redwood. There’s an old joke with the punchline “Could you pucker?”, but unfortunately it’s gender-inappropriate.

Gillette video teaches art of genital shaving [AdFreak, via Sully]

Notorious elitist President Barack Obama has gone out and shocked America again, by going for another hamburger.  Last time this happened, the media firestorm regarding Obama’s dijon mustard choice brought the country to a standstill, inciting inner city riots, a congressional invesitgation, and new frontiers in mustard marketing.    

This time, the New York Times reportage neglects to even mention what kind of mustard Obama put on his burger, because they are still in the tank for him.  However, there were cameras present to record the event, so, as with Abu Ghraib, we will eventually find out the truth.  
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On the Sotomayor nomination: when did the GOP jump the shark?

1. When Liddy made the menstruation comment?

2. When Tancredo said that La Raza was like the KKK without sheets?

3. When Newt called her a racist and said she should withdraw?

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The Plum Line

Right wing commentators from Rush Limbaugh to Newt Gingrich to Tom Tancredo have gone out to their way to label Judge Sonia Sotomayor a Hispanic racist, basing their assessment on one sentence taken out of context from a larger speech.

“I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.”

Conservatives like Limbaugh and Gingrich have used this one sentence to claim that Sotomayor is a Hispanic supremacist who thinks that a Latina can interpret the U.S. Constitution better than a white male. Once seen in the broader context of Sotomayor’s remarks, however, it is clear that she is, in fact, making this claim only for cases involving discrimination against women and Hispanics (a far less controversial stance).

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