@Mistress Cynica: Haha! If she shows up again, I might just do that. I’ve been thinking about taking the Great Flood chapter and filling it with zombie animals.

@drinkyclown: The ray gun is truly badass, and I got it only because I’m dead. Being Satan was pretty badass as well. I was looking forward to relearning how to fly and to using other magiphystical powers. But I can’t even levitate (I tried), so I’m probably not Satan after all. Pfft.

@SanFranLefty: Dude! I don’t think my balls are big enough to attend the FSF. I have no problem with the idea of public masturbation and whatever else occurs there, but I think seeing it would be a whole ‘nuther other. I would behave rudely and stare, giggle, and I’d act inappropriately in general. I wouldn’t want to offend anybody by acting like I just fell off the turnip truck.

@redmanlaw: Haha! When they ban people, they block their IP addresses, so I’d just be screwed. And I don’t have what it takes to be a SEAL. :(

/sad thing is – I give five days before some wingnutter koo-koo pants says exactly that, except they’ll actually mean it.

TJ/I think the exmormons have banned me. There was this delusional poster who said that I am Satan (and so is Michelle Obama), I am dead, I have a ray gun, and I’m holding the SON God Gerard Butler hostage. She’s also said some other pretty wackadoo stuff, like she’s the wife of God, but she can’t be reunited with him because he, Gerard Butler, is being held captive. She talks about wave lengths and hidden worlds and real vs fake people, and she has a YouTube channel where you can check out her slide shows full of pics of Butler and mathematical equations that explain how this hidden universe/the dead walk amongst us business works.

For a while, I played along and took my new duties as Satan quite seriously. We had planned to buy an island and were in contract negotiations with Cafe Press, cuz penance in MY hell was selling those cheap bullshit t-shirts on the beach. I was working on relearning how to fly by concentrating on levitation first — I was getting my Prince of Darkness ducks in a row.

But I dunno. Today I didn’t feel like feeding her paranoia or delusions, and I respectfully told her that I thought she might have some mental issues that should be addressed by a professional, I didn’t mean offense, but I wanted her to be well, etc. She replied that I was going to try to censor her with the coo coo cube. Uh. I told her I would never try to censor her, and that I had no idea what a coo coo cube was, but that her brain, which is a very good brain in many ways, might not be firing on all cylinders. That I wanted her to live a life without fear of the dead and their ray guns, etc. Then the thread got pulled.

Ugh. I am certain that she’s going to think I had something to do with the thread being pulled. Then I tried to comment on an unrelated thread, and I got cock blocked by the “This is a moderated forum…” message that I never get.

::sniff:: I think the exmos excommunicated me.

TJ/
http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/09/04/12/Meet-Bo-the-First-Dog/

Classmate: It’s a leather fair, JNOV

Me: Uh. Okay. Leather’s nice.

Classmate: No, no — it’s a leather fair.

Me: Sounds good. Maybe I’ll get some boots.

Classmate: NO, NO — do you know what a leather fair is?

Me: Uh, people set up stands and tables and sell leather goods?

Classmate: ::facepalm:: No, no, that is not what it is. Let’s just say that last year there was a guy wearing assless chaps and a cock ring sitting on the curb masturbating.

Me: …

Classmate: I think your son is a little young to be seeing that kind of stuff.

Me: …

Classmate: You okay?

Me: …

Ha ha! Have you ever been, SFL? I’m afeared I’d just stare slackjawed. Got bless the leather folks and their desire to strut their stuff.