Bobby Bends Over

Plushbaugh must be out of his mind in non-stop orgasm. Steele lapping the smegma from his tiny nuts and Jindal being used as an anal dildo, Plushbaugh plunging him headfirst into his asshole while Jindal lets rip with horrific belches spiced by his Cajun diet. I can hear Ike shrieking from his grave – and I am in San Francisco.

@FlyingChainSaw: Did I mention I was trying to eat breakfast?
I gotta say, I am loving every minute of this. They become more hysterical by the second. I love the smell of desperation in the morning.

@FlyingChainSaw:
By Limbaugh’s standards Eisenhower was a Republican in name only.

@Jesuswalksinidaho: Herr Hitler on the other hand? Heart and soul of the party.

Nope, the Party in Denial these republicans. Real conservatives are gettin’ edgy over the CPAC attendeed of their party…as well they should.
hannity’s revolution poll? ‘I hope he fails.’ Utter cluelessness. Hate and derision. Ideology with no ideas. Failed ideologies, at that. They got nothin’!
Americans seem to be finally getitn’ that. republicans say they want to be the party of ideas and inclusion when their track record is the opposite. Incompetent people who’s ideology is to destroy government being elected to run the government? Which Bizarro world, now, are they from?
Why, oh why is it not sedition to do and say some of the bile that spills from their mouths?

Warning: do not click this link if you have 20/20 vision. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

@Tokemucho:

It’s only sedition when the Democrats disagree with them, apparently.

I don’t think I realized until just this weekend how fucktarded these people actually are. Or perhaps I should say that their fucktardedness unfolds like a haunted house in a Shirley Jackson novel: just when you think you’ve finally reached the end of the horror some impossible non-euclidean door opens up and you have to fight your way through another whole series of shitty rhetorical hallways and creepy, sophistic back rooms.

They are taking their marching orders from an obese drug-addicted misogynist, and lauding the intellectual brilliance of a 13-year-old boy in too much lipstick. You couldn’t make that shit up if you tried.

@Serolf Divad:

Jebus Christ dude! Here one day and already making me snarf up coffee!

@Serolf Divad:
I don’t have 20/20 vision and it still hurt the eyes.

The goggles, they do not work!

@Serolf Divad: I had a bag of SmartFood ready to go, but now …

@Serolf Divad: That was just plain nasty. And I don’t mean nasty in a “good” way….. WTG!

@FlyingChainSaw: Well, you know that word is Rush has always liked the brown ones.

@Serolf Divad: That is equal parts awesome and horrifying. Fortunately I have the flu, so I haven’t really had an appetite for the past four days.

@homofascist: Are you a Theraflu or Nyquil guy?

@Tommmcatt A Go-Go: I agree wholeheartedly, they are completely, thoroughly “fucktarded,” such that it is impossible to over-estimate their fucktardedness and too easy to underestimate it, simply because of a refusal to beleive people can be so fucked up. But you must understand, when I say “fucktarded,” I mean, in a completely literal sense, that they are murderous Nazis.

@Prommie: @Tommmcatt A Go-Go: @Tokemucho: @FlyingChainSaw:

A cautionary note about potential Rethuglican strategery: Plushblow is distracting the media and riling up the shrinking base, meanwhile some Bush 2.0 conservatives like Pat Toomey are getting in position to take back what they consider the “center”. Take a look at the comments on that post; Specter was already disliked by the hardcore, the rest just need one more good reason to vote him out of the primaries.

I’d hit it.

@Serolf Divad: You owe me a new keyboard, dude.

News flash: Barry speaks Jive.

Once again, Politico claims the title of Masters of the Obvious.

@Serolf Divad: I’m so glad I removed my glasses before clicking that link.

@nojo:
First Politico Dude: Shiiiiit, maaaaan. That Obama brotha muf’ be messin’ mah White House… got to be runnin’ cold upside down his head, you know?
Second Politico Dude: Hey home’, I can dig it. Know ain’t gonna lay no mo’ big rap up on you, man!
First Politico Dude: I say hey, Rush, Jindal, Steele… subba say I wan’ see…
Second Politico Dude: Uh-huh.
First Politico Dude: …pray to J I did the same ol’ same ol’!
Second Politico Dude: Hey… knock a self a pro, Slick! That class warfare shit perform us DOWN, I take TCB-in’, man!
First Politico Dude: Hey, you know what they say: see a Dem to get dat booty yak ‘em…
First Politico Dude, Second Politico Dude: …leg ‘er down a smack ‘em yak ‘em!
First Politico Dude: COL’ got to be! Y’know? Shiiiiit.

@nojo: Excuse me stewardess, I speak Jive.

@homofascist:

But I thought only Michelle Bachman and Michael Steele spoke jive?

@ManchuCandidate: Sir, you look like a Negro. Could you explain to our readers what’s down with this shit?

I know I’ve been out of the country for a while, but were critics (read: GOP) really snipping that it was inapprorpriate for Michelle to wear a sleeveless dress to the State of the Union? If I had Michelle’s guns and shoulders, I’d be in a tank top every day.

@SanFranLefty:
M.O. won a poll for the right to bare arms.

@SanFranLefty: All I can say now is to look for a post to Mrs RML’s editorial in tomorrow’s Santa Fe New Mexican.

@nojo: ” . . .Steele told CNN that he talked with Limbaugh last night, noting, “We are all good.” – politcalwire.com

That’s why Michelle loves him. It’s that that hip “urban” vibe that is so beyond the cutting edge.

@SanFranLefty: Just imagine the outcry if Dems were Twittering during a Shrub SOTU.

@homofascist: Chump don’ want no help, chump don’t get da’ help!

@Benedick:
to continue to holdyou in my highest esteem, i will assume you mean you’s “hit it”. with a 2×4.
shirley, i’m correct, right?

I’m sure there’s a metric ton of pork in that bill – but why did Bobbypants choose those things to criticize? In the grand scheme of things,

Have you seen how shitty and hubcapless most government cars are?

Maybe a rail link would be the impetus America needs to get it ridiculous rail system back on track, ugh the puns?

I’m sure the people who live near volcanoes would like them monitored.

He couldn’t have chosen anything more outlandish???

This is hysterical.

@blogenfreude: Which reminds me: Is there still a (regressive) cap on SS/Medicare? Enquiring freelancers who pay both halves of that sucker want to know.

@nojo: Imagine John Kerry or Hillary Clinton saying, ‘Yes, we can!’ It would have sounded phony hilarious.”

Fixed. In fact, a mash-up of every Dem saying “Yes we can!” is precisely what we need right now to really appreciate the awesomeness of the tall, swaggering drink of water we do have in the White House.

@blogenfreude: Moronica.

@RomeGirl: We’re gonna need more rail lines for when we all become hobos and start jumping freights and hanging out in the hobo jungles.

homofascist: Drinks, I run the java.

blogenfreude: I am seriously getting tired of Republicans crying “class warfare” at every step.

(1) First rule of class warfare in the United States (other than you do not talk about class warfare, natch) is that the person saying that it is at play is probably on the upper end of things. The residual Cold War antipathy towards the Soviets runs deep, you know.

(2) Yo, genius: the problem is that people are not spending money. People on the lower brackets would be more likely to (a) spend money on consumer staples and other goods and services that other people, you know, go to work to provide to the masses; or (b) save it for the rainy day that will follow the current thunderstorm; or (c) purchase a mansion und a yacht. If you guessed “(a)” — congratulations! You are not a complete fucking moron!

@blogenfreude: Meet Moe, Dictator of Moronica: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9k5v6bjwGA

Someone’s gotta translate the secret yiddish jokes they drop in all the time.

@nojo: Cap still there, but they’re working on raising it, I believe.

@chicago bureau: Ford sales for February down 48% from last year, and get this, Detroit-bashers, TOYOTA seeks government help (from Japan). My optimism-pessimism pendulum is deep in despair territory today.

Oh, and existing home sales down 7.7% from last month, yikes. Also.

News flash: Forbidden fruit in the Gates household.

@blogenfreude: @chicago bureau: Is that really how income taxes work? Being a non-homeowner and non-profit employee I honestly don’t know much about income taxes.

@Nabisco: From your teaser I thought that might be a link to an article about a sex scandal involving the SecDef.

@blogenfreude: That’s always been my inside joke about the Republicans. Here I am, a Sole Proprietor who is supposedly the bedrock of their American Dream, and they haven’t done shit for me.

Mr. Wurzelbacher can fuck off. The feds take 15 percent off the top — but only if you’re not wealthy.

@nojo: Cutting the income tax and using the payroll taxes to fund the federal government, thats fucking class warfare, its all a big fucking huge lie, like a fucking turd sitting there in the punchbowl that everyone refuses to acknowledge because “journalism” these days sucks balls. The fucking fucktard nazis. Don’t get me wound up. This fucking regressive system of organized fraud in taxation and government funding, fuck, no wonder Wall Street figured it was ok to do whatever the fuck, they took their cue from the republican controlled federal government.

nojo: I’m giving up Joe the Plumber for Lent, and therefore will be unable to come back with a witty retort, as is my wont. Sorry.

@homofascist: I pay so motherfucking much in income taxes, I giggle about it; I am rich, bitch, (I am a kept man, I should say “my household” is rich) and I walk around every day saying I would gladly pay more. (“We, I keep forgetting).

And as someone who needs a wheelbarrow to tote home my (our, she lets me carry it sometimes) boatloads of money every week, even before the hyperinflation, I can only say it boggles the mind that there are supposedly intelligent people out there who are so motherfucking stupid that they think they need to reduce their income so they can take home more money. This (almost) never happens (the loss of certain deductions and credits at certain income points can make it happen, but the impact is small, the biggest one is where the ATM kicks in). These stupid fucking morons make a quarter fucking million fucking dollars a year and they don’t understand what a “marginal rate” is? Cocksuckers should be taxed at 100% just for being fucktarded.

The whole premise of the fucking idiotic “laffer curve” is absurd. Goddamn, I hate their stupid evil nazi fucking asses, everything, absolutely everything, that modern day conservatives believe is either fuck-all stupid and wrong, or a huge big fucking Nazi-style lie. Every motherfucking thing they believe. Wrong, dumb, lies.

homofascist: Basically, the brackets are set up so that the rate kicks in gradually. This makes it a smooth curve as opposed to steps. Suppose that the rate on Adjusted Gross Income jumped straight from 10% at $34,999 of taxable income (meaning taxes of $3,499.90) to 15% at $35,000 of taxable income (meaning taxes of $5,250.00). Making that extra buck under that scenario means that you would lose $1,750 for making an extra dollar. That’s no good. So it’s income up to a certain amount gets this tax rate, and then above this amount gets another tax rate, and so on.

@baked: I think you are correct … and stop calling him Shirley.

@chicago bureau: *slap* First rule of class warfare is never talk about class warfare!

TJ: Four men, at least 2 and possibly all 4 of whom are over 200 lbs., take a simple 21 foot boat out deep sea fishing in rough Gulf waters. Bad ass muthafuckas or candidates for the Darwin Awards?
/TJ

@Prommie: Darling. Sit down. Breathe. Again. Good. The stress is leaving your body.

@baked: Some kind of Sport bat is what I had in mind. You know for the Sport where they hit small hard balls with long hard bats. I don’t know why. I expect because they can. Then everyone runs about and high-fives and goes Woo!

@Prommie: Don’t brag, especially in a crowd that includes the unemployed and/or the uninsured and/or the soon to be laid off.

@Benedick: I think you should use a cricket bat from your homeland.

@SanFranLefty: So long as the phrase “sticky wicket” is involved.

@SanFranLefty: You don’t get the same kind of swing. Cricket is about finesse and skill not brute force. The bat is meant to coax not break bone. I’ll go with rounders baseballs.

@SanFranLefty: Fucking frosts my fucking shorts when I hear some fucktarded fucking nazi motherfucking conservative whining about democratic fucking class warfare, when they have no motherfucking clue, like fucking Joe the fucktarded non-Joe non-plumber, and his fantasy of maybe making $250,000 a year, or buying a business for $250,000, or these stupid fucking fuckers who are so fucking stupid and so blinded and misled and propagandized that they think raising the top rate means they are gonna have to lower their income so they can make more.

Yes its class warfare, but Jeebus Fuck, its not gonna hurt us working people (I am just a wage slave, just a highly compensated one, and I could be sleeping under a bridge tomorrow), its gonna hurt the fucking Rockefellers and Trumps and the worthless shitbags that never work a day in their lives. Fucking fucktarded fucks fucking don’t even fucking know what class they are in, stupid motherfuckers.

@Prommie: Fuck yeah!

@Jamie Sommers is unfairly harsh!: Fuckin’ A.

@SanFranLefty: Thanks, doll.

@nojo: I’m with you on the Evils of the self-employment tax.

Ya know what I’d love to say on Faux Noos?

“Hey Rush, wot if ah terld yew to focke off?!”

@Original Andrew: Snorted snot.

@blogenfreude: Math is hard!

@FlyingChainSaw:

Holly shit, man, I just read that post. You, FCS, are the definition of the word obscene. Jesus Christ, curry farts, yet! Curry Farts!

I am awed and humbled.

@With a name like Tommmcatt…it has to be good: Curry farts are nothing. Do this: Make yourself a big fucking bowl of mashed rutabegas. Eat it.

Wallow in your crapulence.

Science tells us that the most gas-producing substance on earth is Jerusalem artichokes. They are actually somewhat toxic, and contain inedible starches that supposedly produce explosive flatulence.

I have never eaten them. Since I read the article about their flatulence-producing properties, and their toxicity, I have no desire to eat them. But I have eaten mashed rutabegas. Flatlence commences within 30 minutes, and the volume is truly staggering. And the amazing thing is that the smell is the same as before you ingested them. Disgusting.

@Promnight: You need to eat those rutabagas with overcooked cabbage. Between the cooking and the farting, your house will smell like a Russian retiree’s flat for days.

@Ewalda: I’ve been to that flat, only it was a house, and I delivered papers there. Every month I would come to collect, the door would open, and…

No. I choose not to relive that. The merest thought will return me to that moment, and then I’ll realize I never left, and then my neck will snap.

@Ewalda: My house, when I was growing up, often smelled like a russian retiree’s flat. Lots of boiled cabbage, and boiled for a looooong time, too. Mom had about 6 dishes that she just rotated, and one was stuffed cabbage, and another was boiled corned beef and cabbage. All the others had fried onions in them, including the pork chips (thin, bony pork chops fried to the consistency of the soles of my shoes) and the fried liver and onions. She started boiling the vegetables, whatever the vegetable was to be, around 2 in the afternoon. After 4 hours of boling, ALL vegetables smell like boiled cabbage.