Waiting for the Electrical Apprentice, or Someone Like Him

So far, Levi Johnston’s only sin appears to have been failing to wear a rubber sheath over his old feller. But for that brief moment of what we’ll generously presume was bliss, the poor boy has been paying a heavy price, starting with the formal announcement of his cocksmanship by the Republican National Committee.

Levi’s latest consequence for pestorking the Governor’s daughter began Sunday morning, with a column in the local anti-Palin rag insinuating that his electrical apprenticeship — the very apprenticeship applauded by his future Talibunny-in-law only days before — may have been an inside job. And an illegal one at that, seeing how such apprentices typically require a high-school diploma to qualify.

His father — the parent who’s not accused of pushing Hillbilly Heroin — quickly came to Levi’s defense, saying the Governor had nothing to do with it. Dad works at the same company, you see, so of course he helped the Hunky Hockey Jock into the program. Still, Levi quit anyway; the Governor’s putative future son-in-law can’t afford to have even the suggestion of corruption sullying his reputation.

Oh, who are we kidding: It was the missing diploma.

Even then, we weren’t in the mood to mess around with our runner-up for Best Human Prop in a Supporting Role — no turkeys harmed, no foul. But we couldn’t help noticing that Ann Coulter, of all people, had had enough of the Palin family circus, and had chosen this moment to fire a shot across the bow:

“Getting pregnant isn’t like catching the flu. There are volitional acts involved,” Coulter writes.

She told WND, “We don’t have single mothers because the men are dropping in industrial accidents, or of cholera or leprosy; we have single mothers because more than a million women a year choose to have babies out of wedlock.”…

“Meanwhile, it is single mothers who are damaging their own children’s lives, creating generation after generation of children who are more likely to be addicted to drugs, to commit crime, to be juvenile delinquents, to rape, to get pregnant out of wedlock themselves, to get divorced.”

That’s pretty harsh — we may have called Bristol’s Bastard the Devil’s Spawn, but we meant that in a nice way. Here was Ann Coulter, taking a break from whining about NBC to tell Sarah Palin in no uncertain terms that her daughter is the shame of America.

Without naming names, of course. Ann Coulter is nothing if not discreet.

In any event, we congratulate Levi on his redoubled efforts to get that GED. And when he scores that 300 large for the baby photos, he won’t even have to worry about the apprenticeship.

Levi Johnston quits oil field job [Anchorage Daily News]

Apprenticeship raises questions about Palin [ADN, via SanFranLefty]

Ann Coulter: Liberals are hoodwinking you [WorldNetDaily]