Sounds like she had a big league case of daddy love me/extremely low self esteem.

I think it says with you because it was your “first” time. I think I’d be wigged out too and not participate if I were in the same situation. What you saw runs counter to your views and expectations and it was a serious shock to the system (similar effects as PTSD.)

I’d like to write a better answer, but this is all I have right now because I’m tired.

Train Kept a Rollin’

Now I am no prude, god knows, I have been in orgies, even, but in that situation there was an absolute equality between all participants. Noone was degrading anyone. It was just a joyful puppy pile. This was someone who seemed to be asking for humiliation.

I am still fucking creeped out. By her asking, and by those boys willing to oblige.

Not something I’d personally be into or partake in, but that’s just me.

Horror, really, truly, my feelings were, “what the fuck is she doing, why is she doing this, what the fuck, why, what the fuck.”

But it was willing. Very willing. Current occupant finsihed his business, and the girl started calling for more. Angry that the gap between occupants was too long. Screaming for someone else.

More horror. Horror over why she was doing this. what the fuck.

I remember little cotton socks, girly little cotton socks on her feet, waving in the air as she pointed her action zone around the room and demanded attention. Goading them, begging.

More horror.

Then I left.

And never forgot, and never stopped wondering, what the fuck, why, what the fuck?

What the fuck?

Wondering why they wanted to do it, wondering why she wanted to do it, completely at a loss as to what I had seen.

Still wondering. Drunk, Drugs? Maybe, I don’t know.

But I had always thought such scenes were something at best bordering on rape, but no, she was goading them, daring them, begging, openly, like a penthouse forum letter, for the next one.

And thats what disturbed me. What the fuck?

I figure she was in the same place as someone who likes to have someone pee in their mouth. Thats what reminded me of this. Its vivid, when it comes back, that memory, and the horror is still vivid, too.

Don’t tell open gays they can’t have real relationships or be open about who they are and then get caught getting some strange in a men’s rest room.

I’ve had friends confide to me about some really weird shit (and I them) because they needed some help which is fine if not a bit uncomfortable at times (sometimes the uptight Korean puritan part of my psyche shows up.)

If it is someone I barely know and not all that comfortable with then I’m more, “why the hell are you telling me?”

College, senior year, 1985.

A Sunday afternoon, hanging around with a buddy, not a close friend, having beer and chicken wings in one of those college chicken wing and beer kinda places, it was just across the parking lot from my buddy’s apartmemt complex.

His next door neighbor walks in, walks up to us, all excited, and says “you gotta come to my place, we picked up this chick in a titty bar and she is fucking EVERYBODY.”

Huh? What? What the fuck?

Condemn the 22 year old prom, but I went to the apartment. Part pure sexual curiousity, part horrified curiousity, part thinking I need to make sure this isn’t a rape.

More to come.

Those revelations were filed under the “Things I don’t want you to tell me when you’re drunk” File.

And yes, they were RWers.

As always, you are a great weight-loss aid FCS. Keep up the good work.