Stinque Jam II: The Jammening

October 31 – Pumpkin Jam?? Vegetable sex? A new food porn.

PJ (pun jack)/ For Prommie:

A young man was in love with a beautiful girl. Sadly, the woman did not return his feelings. He tried for months to get her attention. Finally, out of desperation, he visited a group of witches. He asked them to create a love potion. They refused on ethical grounds. But they did give him a bottle of small white pellets. They instructed him to bury one in her yard at midnight for a month.

The man returned five weeks later, elated and thankful. He and the woman were to marry in two weeks. “Ah,” said one of the witches. “Nothing says loving like something from the coven. And pills buried say it best.”

@nabisco: couldn’t you have just shot me? wouldn’t that have been easier?

@nojo – I iz in yr post messin’ up ur html.

Seriously folks – I tried to add a video at the bottom, and the photos disappeared – at least I think it was my bad. Ack. Sorry.

@blogenfreude: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? I keed, I’m sure Nojo will tidy up soon. While we’re waiting, can I add a request to add a request that folks add their usernames in the caption if it’s not otherwise obvious whose pic it is? I want to be able to identify all the cute furbabies!

This is not my beautiful Jam.

Oh, now it is again.

yeah its working fine, my test shot went thru just great

@nabisco: Continuing pun jack:

On the side of a mountain lived a tribe of hobbit-like creatures called the Trids. They knew that a giant lived at the top of the mountain, but were not worried because the giant had never come down and bothered them.

The rabbi was enjoying his time in the Trid village and they entertained him well with feasting and visiting. But one evening they heard thundering steps coming and the everyone ran in panic. The giant rushed into the village square and proceeded to kick every single Trid off the side of the mountain, but left the human standing there dumbfounded. The man demanded, “Giant, why did you just do that to all the Trids, but leave me alone?” The giant said, “Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids!”

Not that one isn’t deeply grateful for the merest crumbs that fall from the bountiful table of nojo’s technogeek wizardry but… last week we could zoom to get rid of thumbnails to see whole pic. This week not. Just sayin’.

@Lyndon LaDouche: Special pleading for the puppy?

The zoom didn’t do those wonderful things for me, but if it works that way for you, it’s back.

@nojo: Fab.

@flippin eck: That’s one of my all-time favorite punchlines, but I long ago gave up trying to remember the rest.

@flippin eck: I read your comment after I submitted my photo, but the Necronomicon photo is from me. And I’d vote that profile names go in the Subject line (ie, mine should have been “OCT’s Necronomicon -IanJ”).

Okay kids, you are getting pictures from Paris today because that is where I would like to be right now. We were there in 2006 during the midterm elections, yelling loudly at the internet cafe about the Republican defeats while trying to figure out the damn European keyboards.

Pedo Jr. doesn’t usually have the sad face, but he really doesn’t like to be dressed up. He’s a hardcore nudist at doggie-heart.

I just figured out a great way to turn everybody against each other: Vote for your favorite critters.

@nojo: Remind me again what determines the piccie order in the jam? Thanks!
Signed,
Not-at-all-bitter-that-her-pic-keeps-getting-bumped-to-the-end-of-the-queue

@flippin eck: The display order is determined by when Flickr decides the photo was “created”. I would prefer ordering by upload (or reverse upload so the latest shows up first), but the PictoGizmo doesn’t offer that option.

I even tried cracking open the PictoGizmo to rewire it, but it’s not hackable.

Frustrates the hell out of me, and maybe I’ll stumble across a solution at some point. But for now, PictoGizmo remains the best freebie thingy for the purpose.

@flippin eck: Oh, and in terms of starting an argument, I vote for Emerson.

@flippin eck: Here’s how much that one detail of PictoGizmo frustrates me: At some point I’ll probably hand-code something that works the way I want it. But I have a stack of site chores ahead of that, so for now this is as good as it gets.

@nojo: Pedo Jr. will cut your taxes, give you single-payer health care, stop the wars, and iron your shirts. Also, a pony for each and every one of you.

I gotta say, we’ve all got some srsly adorable fur-babies.

@homofascist: Cafe Cox? Damn, I’d be there every night.

@Pedonator: But will Pedo Jr. let me pee on him?

@Pedonator: Emerson says Pedo Jr. is a socialist, eelite, terrorist, anti-American, Muslim Marxist who will redistribute your wealth, abort your daughter’s baby, and make you marry a gay. Vote for him at your own peril.

@nojo: Thanks for all your work on this great site! I’m sorry for whining about something beyond your control that you’ve already taken pains to try to fix. Feel free to tell me to fuck off if I start to sound like an ingrate again.

@nojo: Oh yeah, just call him Preznident Water Sport.

@flippin eck: Going negative is a sure sign of desperation.

@flippin eck: No, no, bitch away. I do have a long list of chores (some of which I might finally be able to get started on this weekend), but like Lyndon’s remark about the PictoZoom, some things I wouldn’t otherwise notice, and can easily be fixed.

In this case, I share your frustration, so I’m not whining about ingratitude — just bitching myself that I can’t fix it.

@Pedonator:

Billy, do you like gladiator movies?

@Original Andrew:

Do you consider the eating of oysters to be moral and the eating of snails to be immoral?

A bar had a sign that said NO ROPES SERVED HERE. Despite that warning, a piece of rope decided to go in and have a drink. The bartender takes a look at the rope and yells: “We don’t serve ropes here!!!!!”

The rope runs out of the bar. He musses up his hair and enters the bar again. The bartender sees him and yells: “Hey, we don’t serve your kind here!”
The ropes replies. “No, I’m a frayed knot.”

Nice looking furbabies. Why do they always looks so cute when they’re sleeping?

Hey, why is everyone booing?

@ManchuCandidate: You’re hearing boos? I thought the room cleared.

@nojo:
No. Wait. I was booing me.

OMG baked please take home an Israeli soldier for me, please please please….

Just thought I’d post some stuff I found in my backyard. I’ve got some Sp*der piccies, but sensible folks seem to have an aversion to sp*ders.

@AARPrick: Vegetables have many fun uses see here to see how you can craft vegetables to be your friend.

@CheapBoy: What sort of lure does one use to entice a willy wag-tail to one’s beasty?

PS — Macho Mr. Pedo is frightfully frightened by sp*ders.

@rptrcub:
cubby,
you see the one standing to my right? omg…he was gorgeous.
so many cute soldiers, so little time! if my traps work, i’ll bring one home for you.

i couldn’t pick one animal over the others. impossible. emerson, pedo jr,. OY! dying from cuteness!
and would that adorable dachsie baby be bruno?
baxter gets my kitteh vote.
LERVE the animals, and fave pics are OA at temple of doom, and the pedo’s with dickus maximus.
OA, was that at universal? i posted one fom there taken last year.
2 jams included 2 pics from a theme park, we’re so mature.

Check Baxter’s purrbox. He looks very familiar.

@rptrcub & @baked:

Re: Israeli soldiers

Take two and call me in the morning. Doctor’s orders!

@baked: Gracias chica!

Your critters are almost as fine as yourself, hotness. I doubt you’d have any trouble trapping those Israeli soldier-bears with the honey you got goin’ on. (Can I snack on the leftovers?)

@CheapBoy: For a brief moment, I lived on a mountain with interesting birds in the back yard — had to buy a book to identify them. The feeders worked well until the squirrels figured them out.

@baked: Baxter is the most insanely photogenic cat I’ve ever known. He would be a perfect celebrity because he’s always photo-ready and never takes a bad pic. Also, frighteningly smart — had to get rid of the babies’ water “fountain” because he kept taking it apart to play with the filter. If he had thumbs, he could be a mechanic.
Teh soldiers are almost as cute as the fur babies. The bunny is adorable, and the kittehz think he looks yummy ;->

@baked:

Ackshally, that photo was taken at the Dreams resort in Puerto Vallarta. They had the most amazing alabaster sculptures and lanterns that cast a warm, preternatural glow over the entire resort after sunset.

I love your pictures of Sergio, btw. He seems like such a sweet and happy dog.

@Pedonator: Oh, usually small crunchy insects for the Willy wag-tail.

The sp*ders on the other hand have legs too long, and abdomens too round to be bearable. I have a photo of a male sp*der in the web of a female, then a photo next day of a fatter female sp*der.

@Pedonator:
ah shucks pedo, thanks. now that you mention it, i didn’t have much trouble getting a group shot going. they were VERY friendly. so this is one of my traps. i pretend to be a tourist and round up group shots.

i don’t want to jinx anything, but rat bastard is behaving a little better, i’ve stopped wailing, down to whimpering. he swears the GF is now platonic, even though they are going away together for 3 days. he said he would call me everyday, and swears it’s platonic. that glove don’t fit. i ain’t gonna aquit. but he’ll be here in 3 weeks, and i hope things settle down. there are a dozen stinquers and other friends on alert for my head asploding til wednesday, and i’m not calling off the alert til he gets here. and if things work out, i’ll go back with him in february.
soldiers: brace yourselves.

@Mistress Cynica: Baxter has that attitude I love: “I’ve always been sitting in this basket. Why would you think otherwise?”

@CheapBoy: Who knew vegetarianism could be so exciting?!

That one goes into the Bookmark Hall of Fame.

@baked: Re: RatBastard. Just keep a web handy. Hey, a girl’s gotta eat.

@Original Andrew:
sergio is an amazing dog. i trust him to stick his face into a baby stroller and gently kiss the bebe’s. he loves babies of all species. but if i’m walking down the beach and a man is jogging towards us? i can just barely control him. he leaps to his his full 8 feet tall, and puts all 140 pounds into that big dog bark that scares the shit out of these guys.
he has amazing instincts. i’ve always had dogs, but there will be only one sergio. as my mother says, the MOST delicious dog. she calls to talk to him. swear.

@Pedonator:
link doesn’t work! “web”

@baked: It refers to my post about the male sp*der in the female’s web, and then the next day, a wider female sp*der.

@baked, @CheapBoy: My new recursion technique is unstoppable!

@CheapBoy:
ah, the black widows! i understand those girls now.

@Pedonator:

“No, master. Of course not. It’s all a matter of taste, isn’t it?”

Homofascist is 1000% behind sexy Israeli soldiers. Well, more behind them fucking me and each other (or baked or rptcub or Original Andrew) and not so much behind bulldozing Palestinian homes.

@Original Andrew: My taste runs to snails, but they do leave a slimy trail down your throat.

One of these days, when I’m a real devilish mood, I’m going to run a Jam After Dark.

@nojo: I really, really don’t think you should go there.

But if you do, count me in!

@Pedonator: Not to worry. The Friday I do that is the Saturday the site shuts down…

@nojo: Is this the rally you were thinking of? WTF is “Corporate prayer”? Is that what US Americans do all day, every day?

If you’re still into it, I may have to get an iPhone between now and then.

@Pedonator: That be it — I was gonna double-check later tonight. And now that I see the website (and not just an announcement), I’m just a tad frightened.

Which, of course, makes it even better.

Get that iPhone, borrow a cameraphone, or just grab mine when you’re inspired. I don’t know whether it’s worth suffering through the whole twelve hours, but I just have to witness their witnessing.

Hey Stinkers, I am OK! Its good to get drunk and maudlin, on occasion. I am refreshed and maudlined-out to today, now that the hangover is over.

@nojo: I certainly couldn’t stand a full 12 hours of that shit. Damn, do they save the fire and brimstone until sunset?

Maybe we could show up in the middle of it for a few afternoon hours? Shit, I’m terrible at confrontation. But if we do this, we need to strategize. Can I dress up as a Mormon and if so, can I be trusted to ask pointed questions quietly? Can I keep my magic underwear underwraps?

Anyway I know there’s gonna be a big contingent of the good guys protesting, I saw it on craigslist. Also, note that Qualcomm isn’t providing food and drink for this hatefest.

Good excuse to get an iPhone anyway.

@flippin eck: If you’re an honest US American, you will explain Emerson’s palling around with Elmer Fudd.

@Pedonator: Afternoon sounds good — no point spoiling a good Saturday morning on it. Then we’ll see how long the water and munchies hold out.

Everyone else will be fasting. Crunch loud.

I know Chainsaw wants flamboyant confrontation, but I’m happy to let the Craigslist crew handle that. I’d prefer to just wander around, mingle if I can stand it, get a feel for how bizarre these bozos are, and send back anthropological field reports. Belly of the Beast, and all that.

@Promnight: I always say, if the hangover is over, you’re not doing it right.

@nojo: It’s a date. I’ll email you at the god address.

@Pedonator: Oh, and maybe have my Gideon handy, so I can suggest other passages from Leviticus our friends might enjoy. Not quite confrontation, but I’m curious what the party line is about animal sacrifice.

@nojo: Is that a Prop 2 reference, or are you just happy to see me?

/TJ So, I was driving around this evening, and I was listening to World Cafe, and there was this guy on that I’d never heard of named Rodney Crowell. He sang a few songs, but “Sex and Gasoline” really hit me. He wrote it because his daughter, Carrie, suffered through what sounds like not only an eating disorder but other forms of self-harm. The refrain has a line:

“This mean old world runs on sex and gasoline.”

Yes, yes it does.

Tonight I see the world as a very mean place. Up until I heard his song, I was feeling fine. I don’t know if it’s my mood disorder talking or if his song was really that poignant, but I’m feeling blue now.

I’m going to look at the pictures and see if they cheer me up.

@Pedonator: My horse-owning neighbor is threatening to confine me in a small enclosed space if I don’t vote for Prop 2.

@JNOV: Yes it does. Tits up babe, you’re gonna shine right through this.

Yay for the pictures! I loved them all, but esp the Willy Wag-tail and Nabeesko with the hamster, Pedo Jr in his gondolier shirt, Woodstock, HF, the airplane pics, baked’s pics, everyone’s pics!

Is this the GS thread? “Hair” had the nekkid ppl in it, right? If so, Mom took me to see it in the theater when I was small. She was a little upset by the nudity and my presence, but it was no big deal. What did fuck me up at a young age was seeing the movie “Tommy.” No small child should see the Acid-Queen-induced hallucinations. I vividly remember the Iron Maiden and the big ass snake. My mom lacks good judgment most of the time. But we did have the soundtracks to Hair, JCS and Tommy. Until she got religion and we destroyed her album collection.

The only stupid thing I did with JNOVJr (well, the only venue-related stupidity), occurred when I took him to see George Clinton and the Parliament Funkadelic when he was six. It was an indoor concert, and the people in front of us got high. And so did my kid. He started screaming, “POPCORN!! I WANT POPCORN!!” at the top of his lungs, and then he fell asleep during “Atomic Dog.” No good. I was just waiting for that visit from CPS.

@Pedonator: I adore you.

Oh and Baxter in a Basket! Huzzah!

I am all happy because I have never seen a political campaign melt down into division and finger pointing 11 days out. Palin turns out not just to be a retard and a hick fundie rabble-rouser, but also a mean-as-a-snake loose cannon who apparently has no loyalty even to her own ticket, only to her self, people who think she is gonna emerge some kinda star and new leader for the repblicans are losing sight of something, she has zero political ability, she has no idea at all, she has no clue about building support and loyalty or even honoring favors and returning favors and building networks. Its clear her idea of politics is to jump on any advantage she thinks she has at the moment and fucking anyone and everyone who may have helped her, who may be able to help her in the future, she thinks her flash in the pan and already-over popularity allows her to start screwing McCain even before he loses. She’s totally blind to the realities of fucking politics, she doesn’t understand that you cannot succeed without working with, establishing relations with, groups and players, and establishing a reputation for playing the game honorably.

She will never, ever, be able to put together a base of organized support with this behaviour. She burns her bridges before she is over them, she might be savvy enough to know that if she doesn’t do something conventional conservatism wisdom is gonna blame the defeat on her. But what she is doing now is only gonna cement that wisdom and seal her coffin.

This McCain campaign is gonna go down in history as the worst campaign ever, ever.

Yeah, I am not too worried now. The republicans have already started the blame game, the McCain campaign is already in “every man for himself” mode, trying to survive with some hope of a future career in politics.

I’ve never seen it happen so openly and obviously, they are in the death spiral. If God came down from heaven and endorsed McCain tomorrow, he’d screw up the moment, Palin would claim God endorsed her, not him, and he’d go down 3 more points in the polls.

Stick a pitchfork in him.

The only suspense is in how crazed the pigfuckers will get after the election.

@CheapBoy: Please post the spider pics. I’m only afraid of raccoons, bears and heights. And maybe possums and armadillos.

@Promnight: With proper respect to Chainsaw’s take, I think Talibunny’s toast a week from Wednesday. Not because she’s a loser, but we have no idea who she is without Psychogeezer’s handlers feeding her talking points.

Kristol and NRO will help where they can, of course, but every other Republican will be rushing to fill that party vacuum, and four years is a very long time. Besides, Huckabee has a perch at Fox and she doesn’t.

@nojo: For my sake, I hope you don’t.

@nojo: Thank God. My narcissism knows no bounds.

@Pedonator: Dress like a missionary: white short-sleeved button-down shirt, black pants, and don’t forget the name tag. Black. I miss my exMormons.

@nojo: Dude. No. I will fear for your safety if you show them up with yer book learnin’, esp quoting chapter and verse. The dangers of magical thinking know no bounds. I know no bounds. Boundless, I am. YodaPez needs to come say, “Hi.” Seriously, do not engage.

Cute, cutey-pie Cubbie!

@JNOV: Well, if Ped gets his iPhone, he can take pictures of me being beaten to a pulp.

But short of asking folks whether they plan on freeing their slaves every fifty years, I do need a reference on hand when they start throwing out numbers (and Numbers). If they’re cherry-picking passages, I want to know which ones.

Still, I do want to know the party line about less convenient passages, and how they decide when God is and isn’t being serious. And even if I pull Leviticus on them, I’m going to play it by the Book, without benefit of rabbinical scholarship. Gideon is King James, and as we all know, that’s the fucking Word of God.

@nojo: Yup — use King James. What you might wanna do is get a concordance, or read through one in a Christian book store. Look up homoseschuality, and you should find every passage in the Old and New Tests that talk about it. Your Gideon’s might fail you if it’s not an entire Bible. Most are the NT and Psalms.

And I’m not worried about them beating you up as much as I’m worried about them burning you at the stake. Just keep telling them they’re not acting very Christ-like. And they’ll reply they are only human.

@JNOV: My Gideon’s cover-to-cover, which is why I love it so. No concordance, and no red letters, but I can do some online research during the week to prep myself. Although I’m sure if I can stand talking to someone, they’ll helpfully point out the relevant passages to me.

I don’t want to challenge them, because there’s no point in that — it doesn’t teach me anything. I do want to listen to them, hear how they put the various pieces together, maybe express my “confusion” about how something doesn’t make sense, maybe express my “concern” that such a gathering doesn’t seem to reinforce Love Thy Neighbor, and that only God can judge.

I’d actually make a very good liberal Christian — it’s been pointed out to me by genuine ones — except for this little problem with faith. But I guess that would make me a good Episcopalian.

@nojo: Here’s your mistake: You’re assuming most of them have read the Bible. I’m sure most of them are going to give you dumb looks if you point out the contradictions because most of them don’t know about them. I had a New International Version NT, and that I read from cover to cover. And Psalms. And I think I’ve read most of Songs. I actually like Songs.

Paul really did a number on what could have been a decent religion. Him and those guys who decided which books stay and which ones go. If you really want to see apoplexy, talk about the Catholic Apocrypha. But I bet most of them don’t know about that either.

The difference in my household was that my mom is pretty smart, notwithstanding the whole fundamentalism, and at some point she actually tried to make sense of what she was reading. I think she just gave up and went full-bore into denial. All she wants to believe is that she will be united with her grandparents (who raised her), and she’s looking forward to experiencing joy on a lasting level.

In many ways, I can’t blame her; she’s had a very, very difficult life, and religion helps her deal with pain she doesn’t deserve. That said, she has turned into a very intolerant person. I miss the mom that used to get high (hell, got me high) and was very liberal. But at some point, she had to make a decision between wanting to believe in the hereafter and the way she was living.

What really seemed to change her, though, was moving from a black fundie church to a white fundie church. The white fundie church she attends doesn’t preach prejudice against blacks, but they do preach against the Muslins. “We are going to be a Muslin nation in 5, 6 or 7 years,” I heard a visiting preacher say. Back to my point about black fundamentalism — there is an emphasis on social justice, but then again, people are taught that their crosses are nothing when viewed in light of God’s plan. Well, viewed without benefit of insight into God’s perfect plan, cuz we just don’t know it. Our brains are too puny, and God wouldn’t be God if He makes the mysterious mundane.

Anyway, yeah — you couldn’t pay me enough to go to that thing.

@Promnight: I really should consult with Yoda Pez on this, but the weeks after the election are going to be fascinating. The Republicans are already breaking into three pieces, and while the party will likely survive without schism, it’s not a certainty.

Here’s what we’re looking at:

1. The Kristol/NRO/Rovian power-at-any-price crowd.

2. Sully’s Honest Conservatives.

3. Yahoos.

We know the Yahoos have been played by the leaders for a generation — promise them everything, but don’t follow through. Palin’s a Yahoo, and the Yahoos discovered their own power during the convention — it was their show, and McCain was just along for the ride.

The Yahoos don’t need NRO, which has been cynically manipulating them. But the NRO needs the Yahoos, or rather the Yahoo votes. So they’ll pander as best they can, but the Yahoos could easily live without them.

And Sully’s Conservatives — basically, every thinking Republican jumping ship right now — have no taste for the Yahoos. They’ve watched McCain sell out, and they don’t want a part of it. They don’t really have any place to go, but they don’t care for what their party has become.

Initially, there will be your conventional fight for party power and leadership. The winners will be happy, but it’s not at all certain the losers stick around.

This really is the end of the Reagan Era. Realignment, anyone?

Did anyone see the Frontline special about Obama and McCain? At some point McCain sent up a flare saying he might switch parties, and Teddy Kennedy spoke to him about it on several occasions. Fascinating. It’s a shame to see what he has morphed into with this election. Once upon a time he might not have been so bad. But today? Today he’s just a power-hungry old coot who doesn’t have an eye to our future let alone his. Mebbe he thought he could lie down with the base and emerge unscathed. Mebbe he now sees what the base of the Rs really is like. Mebbe he does see is for what it is and doesn’t care.

@JNOV: You’re assuming most of them have read the Bible.

Not necessarily, and I don’t plan on conducting a debate among seminarians. I’m very good at playing dumb — it’s a trick you learn as a reporter, and perfect as a philosophy student.

You don’t challenge people on their beliefs, you explore them. You don’t point out contradictions and win points (who’s keeping score?), you express confusion that something doesn’t make sense, and await the helpful explanation. You don’t stage a debate, you carry on a conversation.

Socrates was very good at this. Then again, he may not be the best example under the circumstances…

@nojo: Another thing, though, is that blind obedience is a tenet. You do not challenge what the pastor says, and I used to point out inconsistencies and times he was just plain wrong. It troubled my mom, but she kept on with that faith thing.

The problem with accepting a literal interpretation is that it’s all supposed to be true, and so much of it requires a monumental leap of faith or willful ignorance. People are going to parrot what they’ve heard in the pulpit or certain verses they have memorized, and for many, that’s good enough. While there is an emphasis on having a personal relationship with God that includes reading the Bible and praying for understanding, the pastors have stock passages they recycle.

“Jesus wept.” That is if he actually existed.

@JNOV: Paul really did a number on what could have been a decent religion. Him and those guys who decided which books stay and which ones go.

The stretch between Paul and Constantine is a wonderful study in institutionalization. Christianity could and did go any number of directions during those three centuries (I have a friend who loves the Gnostic Gospels), and while Paul certainly set the church on the wrong path, it took the Council of Nicaea to lay the pavement. After which the story gets very boring.

Oh, hey! My favorite Aqua Teen is on. The one with the homicidal dummies. I also love the one where Carl shits radioactive logs.

@nojo: When did the Coptics split off?

@JNOV: I’m with Kierkegaard: either you take that leap, accept it for what it is, or back the hell off. You can’t rationalize faith, although you can rationalize its consequences.

There are sincere people of faith, plenty of them, but the fire-breathers have gotten the attention and the power for a long time now. I grew up in an era when Christianity was a force for good — MLK, liberation theology, radical priests, the works — but religion, like the country, has been consumed by reactionaries since 1980. Maybe we’ll see a few leaves of grass emerge from the scorched earth in the next few years.

@JNOV: I don’t have my early Christian history down that well, but I’ll take a stab at 451, when Alexandria split.

@baked: You would be my BFF if you were able to get one home for me. Or two. Or three.

@homofascist: That’s an idea everyone can get behind. Or at least I can.

@JNOV: Thank ya — I’m sorry some of them came out pixelated. Everyone of ’em except the one with the phallic object, natch.

@nojo: At it’s core, fundamentalism is divisive — either you’re with us or you’re against us AND going to hell. My mom is thinking about going to hear the president of the Christian Lawyer Assoc. (or some such), and I’d kind of like to go with her. She says he’s probably going to speak about freedom of speech and the separation of church and State. I’m toying with going, but I don’t feel like getting pissed off.

Watching her devolve into a fundamentalist has been very painful, and I keep trying to get her to take some classes at the local college. You know, to jump start her critical thinking skills. She has them, and once she even admitted to me that if she is wrong about this whole God thing, having the structure and the group experience gives her life meaning and purpose. But there’s so much that could fill that void for her. It makes me sad.

The McCain shenanigans have gotten to her, though, and she’s expressed something just short of outrage at how folks are reacting to and treating Obama. I wish she’d take some college classes and realize that she is smart, capable and able to live a life of the mind without focusing on the Bible.

@JNOV: I encountered them tonight while waiting in line with a bunch of my Commiefaggot Battalion friends for a haunted house (not a hellhouse at church; this is one that’s nationally rated #1). They were dropping their little tracts on the ground, too, when people wouldn’t take them. One of my friends asked, “doesn’t the Bible say something about being a good steward of God’s creation?”

Response? “That doesn’t matter. You should be worried about avoiding the fires of hell and get saved rather than worrying about the earth.”

I think he just summed up the entire fundiereichwing viewpoint that many of our illustrious Stinquers have examined many times over.

After which, I screamed, “HAIL SATAN!”

I know it’s futile; I just like being an asshole sometimes. Though I think I paid for it later after suffering from some severe vertigo.

@rptrcub: Heh. Yeah, I wish my mom didn’t see life as some sort of holy war. And I wish she didn’t attribute my mental illness or contrary nature to demon possession at the worst or my to my distance from God at the least. It’s hard on the soul (heh) to see everyone you disagree with as an enemy of all that is good and righteous, and I think she’s starting to realize that you can be a good person and be an atheist. She certainly knows some twisted people who are fundies. It seems like people cling to fundamentalism when the world becomes overwhelming. There’s an interesting article in today’s NYT about these prayer warriors and Palin. They really feel like they are under siege by the forces of evil.

My scanner gave up the ghost (fuck you, HP!), so I took some pics of pics with my phone.

@JNOV: For you, of course.

@CheapBoy: They are beautiful! Thank you. :-*

@nojo: I wish I had spent some time with them when I was in Egypt. Instead I hung out with Alladin and Shehab and some other dude whose name I’ve forgotten. Forgottennamedude and I took a ride on a faluka (sp?) on the Nile, and I got to sail it while they were smoking a joint. I almost collided with a river bus, and I dipped my feet in the river. They say that if you put your foot in the Nile, you will return to Egypt. I hope that’s true.

Hey kids!

Still trying to catch up on all these comments after just getting home tonight from a day of travel, and just started going through the photos, and obviously I need to post more photos of my gorgeous furbaby (and martinis?) to win “Stinque’s Cutest Fur Creature” – I can also post a photo of my mail-in California ballot.

that said, my initial responses are:

OA: You can see my house in one of your photos of SF!
Baked: You are such a fucking hot mama. Wow. And we know what a hot brain you have… And surrounded by all of those hot Israeli soldiers. Bow chicka bow bow…
Pedo: Your non-anthropomorphized doggy is so damn cute!
Homofascist: You are so damn adorable. Like TommCatt, I want to pinch your cheeks….however, I want to pinch the cheeks on your face!

okay, will now return to reviewing photos and comments.

xoxo

@SanFranLefty: Hey, You! I don’t know how long I’ll be up before the meds kick in, if they kick in, but it’s good as always to see you.

@JNOV: I just sent in a bunch of old pics of my furbaby, including an after-dark photo of her and her puppy boyfriend on the bed, so if you want to occupy yourself, check out the canine cuteness that will blind you.

Just took a photo of my absentee ballot and am trying to figure out how to caption a photo on my cell phone.

@SanFranLefty: Oh, so cute! I see his girlfriend has assumed the position.

@Nabisco: Looks like someone put a lot of time and effort into taming your ‘fro.

@JNOV: The girlfriend dog “assuming the position” would be my little sorority girl of a pup. The big black and white dog is her boyfriend who would please her for hours on end.

@SanFranLefty: Ah, yes. She’s a hussy. Love her.

@JNOV: That’s why they call it “Puppy love”

@CheapBoy: Ugh.

@JNOV: Sorrrrrryyyyy. Sometimes it’s just too hard to resist.

@CheapBoy: S’alright. You just game me the Donny Osmond teef willies.

@JNOV: Eeeek! The Teeth! The Teeth!!

It’s not true Jaws was dreamt up after the author saw an Osmond’s concert and had a bad dream about teeth.

@JNOV: Why are you still up? Go to bed, girl! CheapBoy and I at least have time differences for our excuse.

@SanFranLefty: Meds have failed me tonight.

@CheapBoy: thanks for the link, lots of mischief to look into.

@AARPrick: A man should have a hobby. Keep his hands and mind busy.

@SanFranLefty: It’s Sunday evening here. The sun is going down, the pigeons have stopped cooing and the weekend is slipping away.

Work worries are beginning to sneak in and I’m having to think about what to cook for dinner and pack for lunch tomorrow.

It’s the opposite of the feeling you have on a Friday afternoon when you walk out of work and realise that the weekend lays before you like firm peach, just waiting to be bitten.

(Steamed vegies and steak with a pepper sauce in case you were wondering what was for dinner and was going to be wrapped in Lebanese bread for lunch.)

@nojo: I blush to admit it, but I check in to Cute Overload almost every day and I seldom miss a day at Daily Kitten. We don’t need a contest, just grooving on our darlings.

@lynnlightfoot: OMG Cute Overload is just too much!!

I have to go blurt the bellies of the boys now.

ok, i’ve reviewed all the pics at some length and the winner of jam 1 has to be lyndon doing something shakespear, and jam 2?
OMG, 2 year old cubby with the extremely phallic looking toy in his mouth is killing me with amusement!

pedo, you know i adore you right? i must know why you and the mister are wearing the identical outfits like the doublemint twins, and what is that strap around your waist? get it off! you are giving the entire homosexual nation and their appreciation of fashion a bad name!
sometimes rat bastard and i put the same outfit on, and when this is discovered upon leaving the house, one of us must change!
this public service announcement brought to you by stinques biggest fashion and style nazi.

@CheapBoy: @lynnlightfoot:
so glad you are enjoying “overload”. i have tons more in rat bastard’s computer, which used to be mine, but he’s too busy working and cheating on me to send them. i’ll take more!

oh pedo,
i hope i didn’t distress you at all. when RB came to pick me up for our very first date, i opened the door and promptly told him i wouldn’t be seen in public with him like that. i had to remove a heavy gold chain from around his neck. ugh. and button up his shirt. he was showing off his masculine hairy chest. it was unbuttoned practically to his waist and his chest looked like viagra falls. he looked like an escapee from saturday night fever. and i wonder why i have relationship problems.

@baked: “viagra falls” That’s xcellent!

Have you ever checked out http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/? Sounds like Mr. HalfBaked was getting fashion tips there for first date.

Hope you’re doing OK.

@Lyndon LaDouche:
i’m not really ok. i’m slightly buoyed by his swearing he has ended the affair he was having, but they are en route right this minute to some resort til wednesday “just as friends”. he will be here exactly 3 weeks from today, sounds like a goodbye romp to me. he actually is feeding me this bullshit, and i feel like a total loser. i begged him not to go, he said just settle down, in 3 weeks he’s all mine again to torment.
ADVICE REQUEST:
he said he would call me every night. should i answer the phone or not? WTF does one say to one’s husband who is calling you from a date? how’s the food? what?

@baked: Just posted another pic from my ramshackle past for your amusement. I’m singing on top of a piano. What you can’t see, unfortunately, is that I am wearing a pair of pants that were so tight they split at almost every performance. It was teh awesome. Especially as all I could wear under them was a dance belt.

As for answering, I have no idea. I think I probably would. Best not to involve yourself in his games, no? There are times when all one can really do is behave as well as possible. Sounds like you’re going through one of those times. If I were in your place I would try to do nothing for which I could reproach myself later.

@Lyndon LaDouche:
that’s been my latest strategy. after weeks of hysteria didn’t budge him, i switched gears and poured on the sugar, which resulted in his coming home 2 months earlier than planned because i’m so unglued. my being understanding and forgiving and acting like my happy old self brought him around. more bees with honey….
so i guess you’re saying answer and act mature? i really can’t imagine what kind of conversation this could be. “calling to say i love you honey and goodnight. ok, my girlfriends waiting, i’ll call you tomorrow”
well, i guess i have to answer, you are right–no games. i’ll report what is said in the spirit of education. i wish a stinquer is reading this who has been there and can tell me what to say. my brain is exploding, feels like spin art is going on up there.
full disclosure: he has forgiven me for PLENTY of baaaad behavior over the last decade. actual physical cheating is the only thing i HAVEN’T done to this guy. but this is new territory for me, and i don’t have the manuel. anyone else have it? anyone? bueller?
i need support TODAY!!!!!

@baked: Change the number, your name and address. A one-off mistake can be written off as a momentary error in judgment, but this last bit really qualifies as emotional torture. He might ass well hire Ed Madden to ring you up and call the play by play of them pestorking on the telephone. “Oh, wow, guys, check out the monkey face on that broad! That’s pestorking!”

@FlyingChainSaw:
he’s a ruthless son of a bitch. this is why he’s so sucessful in business.
my first reaction was just what you advise, but i don’t really want to lose him. chris rock has said a man is as faithful as his options. he is in the drivers seat. this is payback for my not going with him, which he wanted me to, and bugged me for months to come over, and i put my dogs before him. so he found a playmate. i have some responsibility in this, but you are absolutely correct–he is ridiculously cruel.

@baked: Hmmm. Yes, the world makes us things we’d rather not be but you’re supposed to check all that at the door when you get home. Treating everyone at home the way you treat business adversaries isn’t cruel, it’s pathological. Chris Rock is childish. I’ve witnessed a number of gentlemen quickly recover from dalliances when they realized what pain they’d inflicted – or sidestep those infidelities completely. (A conference organizer once gave us the run of a ‘club’ in Sao Paulo. When the ladies started pawing at us, the guy from South Carolina pulled out pictures of his kids and chatted them up about their latest adventures at school. A few of is went back and got chicken hearts and beer with some of the zanies from a local publishing house we met. Most of us went home with clear consciences.) Still, if you’re entertained at some level by this kind of emotional violence or feel somehow that it is due you, there’s nothing to be done.

@FlyingChainSaw:
that’s what he said. the second he walks back in the door he checks his dalliance–but not before that. i’m riddled with stifled rage. i do not find this entertaining. at. all. but yes, in a sense i do believe it’s due me, hence the confusion.
i do seem to attract the chaos saw, i have to look at my responsibity in this. there’s always chaos in my life, an they all have one thing in common–i was there.
and my pain is why he is coming home in 3 weeks and not 2 months. now i sound like i’m defending him. i have learned to listen to my gut, but it’s saying punch him in the face, why i’m asking for better advice.

@Lyndon LaDouche:
piano pic is a scream! i have the exact fringed jacket the pianist is wearing. you are so cute!

i have to get to the drug store, rastaville and liqour store. until someone comes up with a game plan for me, i’m stumped other than to stay wasted.

@nojo: @Promnight: I wouldn’t write off the Talibunny entirely. As someone on NPR pointed out this AM, If Ted Stevens is both re-elected and convicted, he would have to resign his seat and she could appoint herself to the Senate.

@nojo: The Episcopal Church (except for the nutcases who hate teh wimmenz and gheyz) is a great choice for liberal Xtians who don’t really believe in anything and lack the tolerance for all the committees in the Unitarian church. I considered UU until I realized that it involved more committee work than academia.

@baked: OK, this post just made me realize Mr RB is PUNISHING YOU. None of this is about the girl or his “needs” or whatever. He is punishing you for not doing what he wanted. If he just wanted to cheat, and didn’t want a divorce, why tell you about it in the first place? He could have kept his little game going with her in Israel and you in T&C and no one the wiser. The ONLY reason to tell you was to inflict pain, which he chose to do at your most vulnerable moment, when you didn’t know if your home was gone and your babies dead. He’s going off with her now to punish you further, because he’s seen how much he can hurt you and on some level, apparently, he thinks you deserve it. It’s mean and vindictive. I can’t tell you what to do, but I will say that by letting him see how much you’re hurting, you’re giving him EXACTLY what he wants.

@baked: No worries dear! Our shirts are actually very different in that pic, it’s just the glare that washes it all out. And that was an unfortunate choice to wear the backpack in the photo. And the way Mr. Pedo’s shirt was tenting makes his tummy look twice as large as it is. We both are fashion-challenged, but we do try to make sure we don’t go out in matching track suits.

@Mistress Cynica:
wise words. you’re right.
which would explain his about face when i showed him i didn’t give a shit. apparently now the poor dear feels guilty towards this woman he basically used. i hear she’s taking it pretty hard, and this trip is assuaging his guilt over destroying her emotionally.
fun fact: i’m older than him, and assumed he found himself some fiery young sabra. turns out she’s older than me, which makes her roughly the age of mud.
so cyn, tell me…do i answer the phone??? TELL ME!!!!
(ok, i do kinda sorta a little bit deserve it, it’s true)

@baked: I have been thinking about this while I have been preparing a couple of lasagnas. My thought on the phone issue is answer it if you feel like it, but if you don’t, just let it ring. You don’t need to decide now whether you are going to pick it up every time or not. If he calls and you don’t feel like you can handle talking to him, let it go to voicemail and go play with your furbabies instead.

Another recommendation (because I can’t deal with any serious situation without some sense of humor). Find your 5 Israeli soldiers (or ones of similar hotness – I imagine not hard to find). Have them pay Mr. RB a visit and give him a little lesson on how to treat a lady. Pay them in blowjobs. Repeat as necessary. It is like a win-win for everyone.

Sorry you are going through this babe. We are thinking about you.

@baked:
I’m usually pretty good at the blame game (thanks mom!) but for the life of me I can’t see why you should feel this bad.

I think Cynica is right. He’s trying to turn the tables on you in some emotional Akkido by transference of his guilt/issues onto you. I recognize this because I’ve done this before (feel kind of shitty about it) and seen my parents do this to my sister and I.

I’m the type to accept blame for any piece I deserve, but I get real mean if someone tries to pin something on me that I didn’t earn.

Be real cold and mean, pretty lady, if he keeps this bullshit up.

thank god, there i said it. the atheist said god. thank god for you people. you are the best support and best friends i ever had. you are literally lifting me up and surrounding me with the caring i’m in such need of right now. the stinquers have pulled me out of jams before, i don’t know what i would be feeling right now without all of you in my corner.
you are the best people in the world.
thank you with all my heart.

@baked:

Regardless of the direction you decide to take with your marriage, I’d say that it’s crucial at this point to resume normalcy in your life. Take a shower, take the dogs to the park or beach, run errands, visit a friend, go to a movie, etc. Those may be the last things you want to do at the moment, but they’ll likely snap you out of your funk and begin building you back up so that you’ll be able to channel your inner Black Eagle and deal with RB in a cool, collected and productive manner.

If business is what RB relates to, then maybe communicating with him in a businessy way is what’s required. Not very dramatic, but letting him know what’s obviously not working for you and what’s required for your marriage to continue may be a method of communication and negotiation that he can relate to.

@SanFranLefty:

I’m so glad you like the SF photos. I’ve always been fascinated by aerial photography, so of course I always take tons of snaps from the plane.

@ JNOV & rptrcub:

Ahhhh, you’re sooo cuuute!

@baked: I’m with HF, et. al. on this one. Ignore the bastard.

@Original Andrew: Thank you :)

@Original Andrew: Love you and the Temple. :-)

@Promnight: She is daffy, completely unable to scale and compare her experience in Alaska with the new opportunities at hand. She was able to succeed quickly in Alaska politics because the base is so small and the depth of opportunity relatively shallow. A handful of high school buddies is all you need to run the train because the population of the state is about the same as Colorado Springs. If either of the campaigns has a muster out meeting and pulls together its full-time staff in one place, McCain should send Palin to it to give the shithead a sense of what she would have to front and really lead to actually get into the race. It would be a seventh-fleet-in-Yokohama-Harbor for Talibunny. I dare say that Obama’s full-time staff would probably fill an airplane hanger for simultaneous 747 repair and refit by now.

@baked: So here’s some material for small talk with the IDF guys . . . “say, is that the Negev Commando model you’re packing? And speaking of . . . ”

@JNOV: My first political campaign was to run a stuffed armadillo for student body president in high school. It came in third out of a field of four, beating a friend of mine. Several years later, her husband the then-county attorney was charged with a felony for threatening me in the course of a bunch of us local activists petitioning for a grand jury investigation of the county government.

And, may I say, best of luck to the Phillies tonight. Had the team fka “The Devil Rays” had won, Christian phychos would have claimed divine intervention but as it is, the Dark Lord laughs.